Summary
Julia goes to her cousin’s seventh birthday party, where she encounters a variety of family members that each have their own personalities. Julia explains that she doesn’t enjoy parties—she’d rather be home reading—but Amá tells Julia that her absence is unacceptable. At the party, Julia explains that one of her uncles has a habit of sticking his finger in her mouth. Later, Julia considers the “horrors” of teenage motherhood as she watches her sixteen-year-old cousin feed her newborn daughter. Julia finds comfort in the presence of her cousin, Freddy, and his wife, Alicia. They encourage Julia to apply to college, and they offer to have her intern at their workplaces in order to improve her resume.
Exhausted by family dynamics, Julia steals away to the living room to read The Catcher in the Rye. However, she is caught by one of her uncles, who reports Julia’s actions back to Amá. Later that night, Julia has a dream that she is sleeping in her mother’s old room at her grandmother’s home in Mexico. The house is on fire, and Julia cannot tell if her grandmother is dying inside the burning house. In the dream, she jumps into a body of water, where she finds Olga swimming with a group of mermaids.
Julia is threatened when Lorena makes a new friend at school, a gay, eccentric student named Juanga. Juanga tells Lorena about a masquerade party, and Lorena tries to convince Julia to join. Lorena and Julia concoct an elaborate lie to persuade Amá to let Julia leave the house—they allege that they’re going on an overnight visit to the University of Michigan for a prospective student orientation. Although Amá doesn’t buy the lie, Julia sneaks out of the house and attends the party anyway.
While there, she runs into one of Olga’s old friends, Jazmyn. Jazmyn is unaware of Olga’s death, and she asks Julia if Olga is still dating the guy she used to be in love with. Julia is confused by Jazmyn’s comment, and she’s annoyed that Olga’s death continues to haunt her. The next day, Amá’s work partner is out sick. Due to her absence, Amá asks Julia to accompany her and help her clean houses.
Cleaning homes is a torturous activity for Julia, and she begins to develop some sympathy for Amá’s brashness. Julia decides to attend the school dance, mainly so that she can go to a friend’s afterparty to ask a friend’s older sibling about Olga. Amá allows Julia to go, and she insists on buying her a new dress for the occasion. The two venture to an outlet mall in the suburbs, but the trip is a disaster—the two can’t agree on a purchase. Julia becomes emotionally overwhelmed by her neverending arguments with Amá.
Julia goes to the school dance, but she remains relatively unenthused. At the afterparty, she is discouraged when she is unable to find her friend’s older sister who knows Olga. She falls asleep at the party and wakes up at 3am. Upon her arrival back home, Amá grounds Julia. This causes Julia to sink into a depressive episode. Mr. Ingman, Julia’s English teacher, notices her change in affect and checks in on her. He shares that his own mother passed away unexpectedly when he was ten, and the two bond over their experiences with grief.
Winter comes and goes, and the holidays are heavy with the memory of Olga. When school resumes, Lorena, Juanga, and Julia go on a school field trip outside of Chicago. While there, Lorena and Juanga poke fun at Julia’s virginity. Lorena and Julia have a big fight, which contributes to Julia’s pre-existing feelings of social isolation. Discouraged by what’s happening at home and school, Julia looks forward to leaving and going to college. She passes her time thinking about how she can break into Olga’s room in order to continue sleuthing. Eventually, Julia decides to visit Olga’s community college in order to find out more details about her course load. Once again, her sleuthing reaches a dead-end—the college is unable to release the confidential transcripts.
Analysis
Julia is overwhelmed by gatherings with her larger family. She feels as though they are all skirting around the subject of her sister’s death, and she recognizes a palpable sadness and pity. When Julia leaves the party to read The Catcher in the Rye in the other room, we understand how literature is an escape for Julia. Julia’s reality is dark, and it gives her comfort to dive into fictional worlds. In addition, the plot of The Catcher in the Rye relates to Julia’s life. The novel’s protagonist, Holden Caulfield, experiences angst and alienation as he navigates the “superficiality” of society. Like The Catcher in the Rye, I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter tackles themes of innocence, identity, and loss.
The dream that Julia has following the party gives insight into the protagonist’s struggles. Julia is nostalgic for her childhood, and she recalls old memories she shared with Olga at Mamá Jacinta’s house. According to numerous psychological studies, “repeated patterns of nostalgia are actually akin to a difficulty mourning unprocessed losses.” Julia is struggling to process her sister’s death, and reminiscing on their visits to Mexico allows Julia to remember a more innocent time in which she felt a true sense of freedom. It is fitting that this memory arises after spending time with her family at her cousin’s birthday celebration.
In the dream, Julia imagines that her grandmother is dying inside a burning home in Los Ojos. Julia feels far from her Los Ojos community, and she misses her Mexican family dearly. The fire can symbolize the destruction that is particularly prevalent in this moment of Julia’s life. It can also symbolize the anger and resentment Julia feels about the senselessness of Olga’s death. Olga’s presence in the dream as a mermaid is also significant. Mermaids are mythical creatures that often symbolize the unknown. Julia is struggling to grasp that Olga no longer inhabits the earthly realm, and the murky water may signify Julia’s confusion about the afterlife. In general, Julia’s dream emphasizes her loss of control and her intensifying feelings of anxiety.
Julia’s jealousy surrounding Lorena’s newfound friendship with Juanga underscores Julia’s feelings of insecurity and instability. When Julia begins to stop seeing Juanga as a threat, she finds that she enjoys his company. She also develops sympathy for Juanga, since he is chastised by his family for his homosexuality. After Julia reconciles with Lorena, she is invited to go to a party with her and Juanga. Although Julia is initially hesitant to attend the party, she realizes it could be a good release from her family drama. However, her encounter with Jazmyn is a reminder that as much as she tries to run away from her feelings, she is ultimately unable to escape her grief.
When Julia accompanies Amá to work, she begins to see a different side of her mother. Though she always knew that cleaning homes was a thankless profession, Julia is shocked by the disrespect and violence that Amá endures on a daily basis. In addition, the work is physically grueling—Julia has a newfound understanding of her mother’s persistent exhaustion. In visiting homes of the rich elite, Julia gets an insight into the wealth gap in the United States. Although Julia previously portrayed Amá as a quintessential antagonist, she begins to realize that her mother’s hardened shell is a result of the trauma that she has and continues to experience.
