Summary
Julia dreads her approaching quinceañera. She thinks of ways she can get it canceled, but ultimately she realizes she cannot escape her fate. One day, Lorena comes over to Julia’s house and apologizes for what she said on the school field trip. Julia apologizes as well, but she lets Lorena know that she doesn’t enjoy Juanga’s company. Lorena tells Julia that Juanga’s family abuses him because of his sexuality. Julia begins to develop sympathy for Juanga, and she feels guilty for how much she had judged him previously. Julia and Lorena go to have pizza, and Julia is overcome by an overwhelming sense of grief. She worries she won’t make it to college, as she finds her existence to be oppressive. Lorena slaps her for speaking in such a way, and she promises Julia that things will get better.
Julia asks Lorena if Juanga can get Jazmyn’s number. She hopes to ask Jazmyn for more clues about Olga’s whereabouts leading up to her death, though she is also unsure of whether Jazmyn can be of any help. While walking back from Lorena’s house, Julia gets aggressively cat-called by two men in a car. She is scared, and she approaches an old man along the route for assistance. He walks her the rest of the way home, and the men in the car leave the scene.
Julia successfully gets a hold of Jazmyn’s contact information. She calls her, but Jazmyn isn’t much of a help—she only tells Julia that she knew Olga’s boyfriend had a good job, which piques Julia’s interest. Julia finally has her quinceañera, and it’s as uncomfortable as she anticipated. The DJ pauses in memory of Olga, and many of the family members begin to cry. At one point, Julia yells at her aunt in the bathroom while Lorena watches. Julia sees Angie at the party, and she confronts her again asking if Olga ever had a “secret relationship.” Angie keeps her lips sealed, which frustrates Julia even more.
When Julia returns home with Amá and Apá, they yell at her for her fight with Tía Milagros. Julia is surprised by her dad’s level of anger, since he is usually emotionally distant and stoic. As the fight escalates, Amá tells Julia that Olga might still be alive if it wasn’t for Julia’s big mouth. Amá’s words haunt Julia, as she has felt her mother’s sense of resentment since Olga’s death. Julia spends the summer cleaning houses with her mom, and when she returns to school in the fall, Mr. Ingman offers to help her with ACT preparation and college applications. He encourages Julia to write about her parents and their status as undocumented immigrants, but Julia fears that her parents will be deported as a result.
Julia goes to a local bookshop, and while there, she meets a guy named Connor. The two converse about their favorite books, and then Connor asks Julia on a coffee date. While at the cafe, Julia tells Connor about Olga’s death and her recent preoccupation with uncovering the hidden details of Olga’s life. Connor offers to help Julia hack into Olga’s laptop, which finally feels like a step in the right direction. The two meet up for another date at an Indian restaurant, and they share their first kiss.
Julia mentions that she continues to struggle with her feelings of grief, even though so much time has passed since Olga’s death. Amá struggles as well—Julia notes that her eyes are often red from crying so much. One winter day, Julia, Juanga, and Lorena go sledding. Although Julia was initially skeptical of the plan, she ends up having a wonderful adventure with her friends. Later, on a date with Connor, Julia remarks on their socioeconomic differences while at a thrift store. The two have sex, and Julia returns home to find the keys to Olga’s room hidden in the freezer. When her parents fall asleep that night, she enters Olga’s room and takes the lingerie and the hotel key.
The following day, Julia walks into the living room to see Amá crying over boxes of clothes. She has gone into Julia’s closet in order to donate old belongings, but she has also recovered the items that Julia has taken from Olga. Amá is convinced that the hotel key, lingerie, and box of condoms all belong to Julia, and she threatens to send Julia away to live in Mexico. Frustrated by the “explicit content” of the recovered belongings, Amá grounds Julia yet again, which means that she’s unable to see Connor. Although she speaks to Connor on the phone daily, he grows frustrated at his inability to support Julia through her depression.
One day, Julia decides to go to Millennium Park after school. While there, she grows dizzy and lightheaded. In the next scene, we find Julia waking up in a hospital bed with Amá and Apá standing over her. We learn that Julia has attempted to take her own life, and she is now in a psychiatric unit. She is sent to an outpatient therapy program for one week, led by a psychiatrist named Dr. Cooke. When Julia returns home, she feels isolated and judged by her parents.
Analysis
In this section, we see the strength of Julia and Lorena’s friendship. Although their relationship has been rocky over the past few weeks, Lorena demonstrates that she has a deep love for Julia. Lorena notices that Julia is defensive and often closes herself off to people and experiences she deems herself “too good for.” Lorena initially struggles to have this formative discussion with Julia. However, in being honest with Julia, she encourages her to recognize her shortcomings and grow into a stronger, more mature person.
Julia often feels like she needs to care for others as they grieve. Although Julia’s interaction with Jazmyn at the party in the Chicago Loop ruined Julia’s own night, she had to put her own feelings aside in order to console her sister’s friend. For this reason, Julia feels that Jazmyn “owes her” to share information about Olga. Julia copes with her own grief by continuing to investigate Olga’s double life. Julia remains persistent: although she encounters setbacks and dead ends, she is determined to find out information that will confirm her suspicions.
Although quinceañeras are meant to be happy and festive gatherings, Julia’s quinceañera is filled with negative energy. Julia resents the celebration in the first place—she is shocked at Amá and Apá’s insistence on hosting despite their grim financial situation. Julia turned fifteen numerous months ago, and it feels inappropriate to celebrate so soon after Olga’s death. Julia realizes that the quinceañera symbolizes a rite of passage. Amá and Apá hope that it will make Julia more of a “perfect Mexican daughter.” However, the party further exacerbates the inadequacy and unhappiness that Julia feels after losing her sister.
Because Julia is emotionally overwhelmed, she picks a fight with Tía Milagros. Although Julia has behaved disrespectfully, it is clear where her feelings come from. Amá and Apá, however, are unable to sympathize with Julia and see her behavior as completely unacceptable. Julia’s fight with Tía Milagros sends Amá over the edge. When Amá tells Julia that she is partially to blame for Olga’s death, Julia doubles over in guilt and rage. Although Julia previously sensed that Amá resented Julia, her admission is unfair and inappropriate and makes Julia feel even more inadequate.
In this section, the reader witnesses developments in Julia’s romantic life. This is an important aspect of Julia’s coming-of-age story, as she has previously been resistant to relationships. As Julia spends time with Connor, it is clear that he has a healthy and positive effect on her personality. Connor helps Julia feel more secure in her interests and intellect, and she is happy to share her passion for literature with someone. Although Connor attempts to support Julia through her grieving process, the situation is beyond his control. Their breakup profoundly affects Julia and sends her into an even deeper depression.
