Summary
Tara, the story’s author, narrator, and protagonist, begins her memoir by recounting her earliest memory, which she reveals is actually just a figment of her imagination. In this “memory,” Tara watches as her mother falls to the ground while holding a baby. Tara uses this anecdote to describe her family, particularly her father and grandmother. Tara explains that her parents are survivalists, and her dad has been preparing for the end of the world since as early as the narrator can remember. Tara grows up in rural Idaho, the youngest of seven children. As a child, Tara plots to escape to Arizona with her grandmother, but her plan gets ruined when another neighboring survivalist family gets prosecuted by the government.
Tara spends her days at home, where she observes her mother begin her career as a midwife’s assistant. Judy, the midwife, initially recruits “Mother” for her herbalist skills. Tara passes time with Maria, Judy’s nine-year-old daughter. Tara’s mother is initially terrified of being a midwife’s assistant, and she is traumatized from her first birth. However, she is forced to continue working in order to make money for the family. After Judy moves to Wyoming, Tara’s mother takes her place as the local midwife.
Tara delves into her parent’s respective backgrounds. Tara’s mother, whom she refers to with the pseudonym “Faye,” was raised in a traditional home. Tara’s maternal grandmother was preoccupied with maintaining a polished facade, and she often dressed her daughter in elaborate outfits to present her as hyper-feminized. Tara’s father, “Gene,” grew up in the same rural community as Tara. Tara recounts how her father became more radical as he got older.
Tara remembers a trip her family took during her childhood. In order to escape the harsh Idaho winter, Faye suggests that the family drive to Arizona for vacation. During their journey, Tyler, Tara’s seventeen-year-old brother, falls asleep at the wheel. The car hits a pole, and Faye is severely injured. Gene refuses to call an ambulance, and the family returns home. Due to Faye’s brain injury, she has developed horrific migraines and dark circles under her eyes. Faye stays in the basement in order to avoid sound and light, and she experiences the debilitating effects of this accident throughout her life.
Tyler, one of Tara’s older brothers, decides to leave home and go to college. Although Gene vehemently disapproves of this decision, Tyler has saved enough money to be independent. Tara is saddened by her brother’s move, and she even grows resentful towards Tyler for his ability to leave Buck’s Peak. She begins to spend more time at her maternal grandmother’s house, where Tyler often sought refuge. Tara begins to understand how education can lead to emancipation, and she begins to unearth other manners of existence.
After Tyler moves away for college, Audrey, Tara’s older sister, begins working outside of the home. As a result, Gene’s metalworking scrapyard is understaffed. Despite her young age, Tara begins working in the dangerous scrapyard. Faye also begins working as a midwife again. She also dabbles in herbalism and “muscle testing.” Tara misses Tyler and is envious of his college experience. As a result, Tara begins to read Mormon doctrines in an effort to educate herself.
One day, Tara’s brother, Luke, severely burns his leg in the scrapyard. Faye has been called to help with a birth, and Tara is left alone to help her ailing brother. This memory scars Tara, and she is forced to grapple with the inconsistencies of her memory. She wonders about Gene’s role in Luke’s injury, and she begins to see the risk associated with working in the scrapyard. Tara begins looking for ways to escape home, and she determines that she needs to follow Audrey’s footsteps and get a job in town. Tara begins to take dance lessons, but Gene finds out and expresses his disapproval. Tara then begins to sing in Mormon choirs, which Gene supports enthusiastically.
Analysis
Westover begins her memoir by recounting an impactful memory that is not based on true events, but rather constructed from her imagination. As a genre, the memoir is a “collection of memories that an individual writes about moments or events, both public and private, that took place in the subject’s life.” It is clear that the memoir’s opening paragraph introduces the theme of memory and its inextricable ties to the literary genre. However, this opening paragraph also comments on Tara’s fraught relationship with her memory. Tara, an academic historian by profession, approaches her life’s story with skepticism and doubt.
In differentiating between a fabricated and a real memory, Tara asserts that she ultimately possesses the narrative power to distinguish fact from fiction. As an author, Tara positions herself as someone working to reclaim a story that has been questioned and denied. Moreover, this opening paragraph addresses the importance of the subconscious. As Tara imagines her mother falling to the ground, she conveys her personal anxieties surrounding womanhood and motherhood. As the memoir progresses, the audience is able to decipher how the Westover women experience gendered violence at the hands of their husbands and brothers.
Tara traces her parents' backgrounds in order to better understand how they came to their extremist lifestyle. Tara realizes that her mother’s relationship with Gene signified a rebellion against her conservative upbringing. Gene, who was raised in rural Buck’s Peak, may have developed his survivalist viewpoints in his young adulthood as a result of mental illness. In investigating her parents' childhoods, Tara explores the legacy of intergenerational trauma. She realizes that her life has been involuntarily shaped by her parents' uniquely extreme philosophy.
As the youngest of seven children, Tara sees her older siblings grow up and begin to pave their own lives. Tara watches Audrey leave the scrapyard to find safer work in town. She also grows envious of Tyler, who makes the decision to leave Buck’s Peak entirely and go to college. Her siblings' paths encourage Tara to recognize the toxicity of her home life and search for other opportunities. By teaching herself to read through Mormon scripture, Tara becomes accustomed to parsing through ancient texts and drawing her own conclusions. This educational experience later affects Tara’s academic pursuits.
During her childhood, Tara observes how work is divided by gender. Contrary to Gene’s patriarchal perspective, Tara’s mother serves as the economic backbone of the family. Faye manages all of the domestic duties while simultaneously making money as a midwife’s assistant and herbalist. Furthermore, Tara’s opinions about the toxicity of the scrapyard are significantly shaped by Luke’s accident. Tara realizes that metalworking is not sustainable, and she is motivated to find ways to spend less time at home.
