If there is one thing for certain that nearly everyone who has or will ever watch Jurassic Park can agree on, it is this: the movie contains the most gruesomely ill-advised bathroom break made by any character in any movie ever. A fractional percentage of those who agree on this fact are likely also acting in unison together in their response to the fate of the Gennaro, the man John Hammond refers to as a “bloodsucking lawyer.” Either joining in the thunderous applause or nodding with a knowing smile on their face.
The response to the undignified death of Gennaro may only make fellow lawyers uncomfortable with that universal agreement that he deserves such a fate, but even they can join in on the fun when the nerd gets his. Poor Dennis Nedry’s death is even more gruesome than the Gennaro’s, but at least the lawyer didn’t have to suffer the lifelong indignity of going through life with a name like Stryshe…or some other anagram of shyster. Not only does Dennis live the life of being nerdy, he dies for being so nerdy. The lawyer and the nerd: he two villains of Jurassic Park.
Um…no.
The real villain of the movie gets off the island with much of his dignity stripped away, but enough money still in the bank to buy some surgery to fix that. And, true, he was almost responsible for gory premature death for his two grandchildren, but life found a way them, thus proving the Hammond line is evolutionarily superior, no doubt. So Hammond was capable of doing what the nerd and the lawyer were not and, after all, why not? Nedry was a thief and Gennaro even worse—a lawyer—whereas Hammond shows his true colors and a force of benevolence among the Gang of Three at the center of the film’s villainy.
Hey, remember when that lawyer finally realizes “Jurassic Park” isn’t some boondoggle, but actually a worthwhile investment of science? “We’re gonna make a fortune out of this place” he muses before launching into a plan to improve on making a fortune exponentially by charging an admission so high that only the rich can afford it, thus keeping lowering expenses by keeping out the riffraff. That’s when Hammond reveals the bloodsucking lawyer for what he is by revealing himself for what he is. No way, Hammond insists. Jurassic Park will not be one of those exclusive secret getaways for only the rich, it will be a place available for everyone.
Except…Jurassic Park is located on an island that is hardly that not just anyone can drive to. And Jurassic Park requires all the maintenance of a zoo combined with all the management of an amusement park with an extra layer of security needed because, as point out, “when Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists.” In addition, Jurassic Park is also going to have to make budgetary considerations for one thing that no other entertainment attraction on the planet has created a statistical analysis for: a work force staffed every kind of science-y type job with the “paleo” in it. In other words, that big-hearted humanitarian of a guy—John Hammond—shoots down the suggestion for how to increase the profit margin made by the bloodsucking lawyer because he wants his park to be available to more than just the super-rich even though the cost of running such a park will be unlike anything any amusement attraction in the world has ever had to deal with.
The question becomes, then, exactly how will John Hammond make good on such a promise?
Two possible answers. One, he can’t and the whole thing with Gennaro is done simply for show in front of the science-y type guys he’s invited to check out things. Or two: he’s going to exploit and bleed dry every Dennis Nedry who works for him. Nedry rebels against Hammond’s decidedly non-benevolent lack of appreciation for his economic needs much like the T. Rex rebels against the constraints placed upon his needs by the security measures in place. And on that subject, guess how else Hammond is going to allow his park to be enjoyed by those who make a living by working rather than sucking off the interest and dividends created by the labor of others?
Everyone should applaud as ferociously as they like when Gennaro discovers the existence of karma. Those happy to witness Nedry’s fate should keep in mind that while he may be personally distasteful, in his argument with Hammond over economics he was right and Hammond was not just wrong, but wrong in a way that would prove tragically ironic. Hammond’s assertion that Nedry’s economic problems are only the nerd’s problems and the nerd’s problem alone is shortly proven to be disastrously untrue. But then again, even if nothing had gone wrong, it would still have been untrue. Nedry contributed substantially to making Jurassic Park a money-making potential Same with the scientists and the guys in the hardhats and the creative artists responsible for the cartoony video playing before the ride and the guy that flies the helicopter and the crew that work on the cargo ships. These people all actually contributed in a tangible way to the park becoming a reality whereas Hammond’s sole contributions to the project was the idea itself and the money to pay the people involved. And, as great as ideas are…that and five million dollars to pay people who can’t make it come true will get you darn little.
So in the end, the one guy who truly contributed nothing and stood to gain millions becomes intestinal worm for a T. Rex. Who cares? Nedry, whose only real crime was believing that an employee should actually be paid a fair wage for the work they’ve done, dies in a way the filmmakers consider too horribly even to show us. But there’s Hammond enjoying the presence of his grandchildren who managed to escape slaughter several times by mere moments, looking all Santa Claus-like and likely still clinging to his belief that the economic woes of people he pays to work for him are neither his responsibility nor his concern.
Very few Hollywood blockbusters end with the villain getting away with it, much less the biggest blockbusters in history. The Nazis don’t wind up with the Ark of the Covenant. Voldemort doesn’t kill Harry Potter. Sauron doesn’t wear the ring. The guy stroking the cat while he explains everything he’s planned to James Bond never succeeds in his nefarious plan to take over the world. Heck, not even the nice but bland guy that the girl was gonna marry when things fell apart between her and the dashing and handsome but undependable rogue she really loves actually winds up getting the girl because she always goes back to the hero.
But John Hammond gets away with it. Not only does he get away with it, but you never even see his name on one those lists of the greatest movie villains of all time. Now that’s villainy.
