“The sum total of tears, pain and fear that every person must pay for his existence is a constant.”
It does not matter under what flags and system of government people live; it does not matter which gods are worshiped or what the average income is – every person remains responsible for his actions. Every person will be responsible for his sins and guilt. It does not matter if you are a German soldier or a Soviet soldier – everyone will pay with his or her valuable life. The balance is constant – well-fed peoples roll in the mud of neurosis and perversion, while people, who are plagued with suffering, as the main heroine is now, may rely on numbness and apathy to help see them through. Marta Hillers thinks that if people believe that the earthly sum of tears is fixed and immutable, then they are not ready to improve this world.
“I never liked the proverb ‘Need teaches prayer’ – it sounds so haughty, like ‘Need teaches begging’.”
Marta does not pray. She believes that prayer is a form of begging. If a person prays every day, this is true faith in God. However, if prayer is heard from a person’s mouth only, when he feels fear and grief, without knowing anything about praying on good days, then this prayer is a pathetic begging. Marta is confident that the proverb “happiness teaches to pray” is meaningless. All people, who are hostages of the war, are unhappy. They pray all the time, but that does not make them happy. Nevertheless, Marta does not cease to believe in God. She is sure that God does not want to help people, because they are to blame for their misfortune. God does not send them this trial. The only cause of the war is people.
“These days I keep noticing how my feelings towards men are changing.”
Marta Hillers and other women feel sorry for men, because they seem so miserable and powerless. She believes that the male part of the population become weak. Women are disappointed, because instead of protection and peace, they get violence and disrespect. The tale of a strong man and his world is destroying and women are changing. They become impudent and independent. At the end of the war, the defeat of men as a strong sex is comparable to many other defeats. Violence against women makes them not weak, but strong. Marta assures that she is not broken and her feelings are not destroyed. This pain that women experience makes them to be brave to stand up for themselves. The female part of the population also has strength – willpower.
