“I got married so I could stop dating.”
The film is a romantic comedy, but like most romantic comedies the underlying message of the film is stated here: dating sucks. It is a kind of foundational irony of the rom-com that within its existential theme that love conquers all is the message that while this is true, getting there can be a real pain in the behind.
“What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”
On the other hand, this quote is what the film wants its message to be. Or, rather, it seeks to prove just the opposite: that true and lasting romance is constructed not on the basis of sex but friendship. And, indeed, it does set about proving just that point, but by the time it was released, about fifty years’ worth of romantic filmmaking had pretty much already asserted this point without drawing attention to it.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.
The real complication is introduced here. The philosophy toward sex and friendship is fundamentally flawed because it assumes that Harry’s perspective is universal when, in fact, if such an assertion were authentically the case (Harry’s unspoken clarification being that every man want to have sex with any woman, regardless of physical attraction) the film should by all accounts tell the story of when Sally met a sex addict. The type of man that Harry is forwarding as the norm is statistically considered a deviation from the norm. But since this is a romantic comedy and a sexual thriller, a suspension of disbelief is required.
“There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.”
One of the existential problems with When Harry Met Sally is that it attempts to impose a universality of truth to a character whom all the evidence points to as suffering a condition of misogyny which simply cannot be applied to all men. As a portrait of two distinct individuals this would work fine; Annie Hall is the perhaps the ultimate point of comparison. What makes Annie Hall work in a way that When Harry Met Sally does not is that Alvy Singer never pretends to be speaking for all men. He is, in fact, quite proud of being a singular voice. While the above view is perhaps more universally shared among men than some of the other more questionable opinions offered as fact by Harry, the inescapable fact is that all available evidence points to Harry Burns as suffering from deeply profound distrust of women that is manifested through sexual objectification.
“I'll have what she's having.”
This is the single most famous quote from the film, ranked number 33 in the American Film Institute’s list of the 100 most memorable quotes from the first hundred years of American film. The line is said is in response to Sally having just demonstrated for an entire diner filled with customers how she goes about faking an orgasm. The irony here is another case of the film asserting universality of truths which are not quite appropriate. In this case, Sally is demonstrating her opinion asserted as fact that all men have been the victims of a woman faking her orgasm because none can spot the difference. Unfortunately, Meg Ryan’s performance is less than convincing, though apparently this is not the case for Sally, as witnessed by the nearby customer’s response as well as Harry’s. Even so, the line is deservedly famous because it without the funniest the in the film.
