Familial Responsibility
Throughout the film, we see that Arnie is attached to Gilbert's side. After his father's premature death, Gilbert has assumed the responsibility of caring for Arnie, his developmentally delayed younger brother. In addition to being Arnie's caregiver, Gilbert is expected to hold a steady job in order to provide for the family financially. Amy, Gilbert's older sister, assumes the maternal role. She cooks and cleans the family's home, and she even assists in its many repairs. However, it becomes clear that each family member is burdened by their responsibilities. They are still young, and it is evident that their emotional development has been stunted because they have been expected to behave like adults. Once Becky comes to town, the Grape family is pushed to re-evaluate their functionality, their domestic duties, and their own mental health statuses in order to preserve their longevity.
The Search for Freedom
The opening scene of the campers driving through Endora reveals that Gilbert Grape desires freedom but is ultimately deprived of it. In this way, Endora's vast landscape is, ironically, Gilbert's trap. When Gilbert meets Becky, he begins to understand that she personifies freedom. She possesses a worldliness and an excitement for life that he has always craved but never been able to act upon. Gilbert understands that fostering a relationship with Becky can allow him to share in her sense of freedom. In their numerous discussions over the course of the week, Gilbert begins to see his life in Endora differently and find freedom in his own isolated community. Gilbert's decision in the film's closing scene indicates the actualization of his "freeing" ideas.
The Healing Power of Love
This film, undoubtedly influenced by the cinéma vérité style, provides a realistic depiction of love. We see how each member of the Grape family loves one another. Even Bonnie, despite her inability to support her family, is repeatedly shown hugging, kissing, and praising her children. Out of love, Gilbert has put his life on hold in order to care for Arnie and maintain a steady job in order to pay his family's bills. Likewise, Amy has opted out of her own culinary aspirations in order to cook and clean for her siblings. When Gilbert falls in love with Becky, we see how his heart opens. His decision to introduce Becky to Bonnie indicates the love and trust he has in their relationship. In loving someone else, Gilbert is able to learn how to love himself. This realization drives him to burn his home and start a new stage of his life without burdens.
Breaking from Tradition
The Grape family deviates from the traditional American family. Instead of Bonnie providing for her entire family, the children are forced to provide for their mother. Additionally, their home lacks a father figure, and it is Gilbert's responsibility to assume this role. All of these factors make the Grape family a spectacle in their traditional, Midwestern town of Endora. For this reason, the entire town watches the family's every move and passes judgments when Arnie climbs the water tower. The town's model for a traditional, nuclear family is the Carvers. However, as the film progresses, we see how this family also breaks from traditional behavior and expectations.
Courage
Although there are many ways in which courage is represented in the film, the two scenes in which Bonnie moves from the couch demonstrate her courageous spirit. When Bonnie leaves to go to the station in order to rescue Arnie, she willingly risks being tormented and laughed at by Endora residents. After marching into town, Bonnie's depression becomes even more severe. Her second act of courage occurs when she challenges herself to climb her stairs for the first time in seven years. Perhaps she did this so that she would be able to die in a removed part of the house, thus preventing the town from seeing her in her death.
Life is Fleeting
As Gilbert, Tucker, and Bobby sit in the town's diner, they ponder the meaning of life and its fleeting nature. After this discussion, the film is rocked by two sudden deaths. The first is the death of Mr. Carver, and the second is the death of Bonnie Grape. Though it does not take place throughout the course of the film, we learn that Mr. Grape also committed suicide seven years earlier. These deaths make a particular impression on Gilbert, who is seeing his own life pass before his eyes. We learn that although Gilbert has standards and responsibilities to uphold, he should stop inhibiting himself in order to live a life that he can be proud of.
The Importance of Acceptance
At the beginning of the story, Gilbert is intolerant of his family's differences. He is aggravated at Ellen's narcissism, bothered by his mother's obesity, and annoyed with Arnie's developmental delay. Gilbert's intolerance leads him to intense moments of anger. However, once Gilbert meets Becky, he is pushed to accept each of his family members for who they are. This absolves Gilbert of control and responsibility, and he is able to focus on himself and his own happiness. It is important that Gilbert first demonstrates his acceptance of Bonnie the night before her death. Perhaps Gilbert's validation grants her the peace to finally pass away.
