Weetzie Bat
Although the name sounds like a tavern with a typo, Weetzie Bat is the title character and protagonist. The opening line situates her as being a student who is totally done with high school, but must still go through the motions. She orbits through a punky world while adorned with a flat-top hair cut bleached impossibly blonde. Add some way stylish shades, vividly red lipstick and—perhaps most troublesome—sugar-frosted eyeshadow and in any other city between her and NYC she’d stand out in a crowd. But home is L.A. where it takes a lot to stand out. Like, for instance, stumbling across a genie lamp extending the opportunity have three wishes actually come true.
Brandy-Lynn and Charlie Bat
You don’t get a name like Weetzie unless you have parents who are at least a little offbeat. Brandy-Lynn was once a promising member of a group that almost never fulfills that promise: B-movie starlet who just knows her big break onto the A-list is around the corner. (It wasn’t.) She is divorced from Charlie, an eager and ambition New Yorker sure he was going to become the next Brando or Lumet or Woody Allen or something, but who winds up being a third-rate Rick Baker.
Dirk
Dirk is Weetzie’s best friend: a gay punker sporting a black Mohawk who drives a ’55 Pontiac which, notably, is named after a Native American tribe. Both Weetzie and Dirk share a passion for Native American culture but their expressions of that passion lead to an ambiguous sensibility that makes it difficult to determine whether they are being ironic hipsters or insensitive doofs. Let’s call it 60/40 but you get to determine which is which.
My Secret-Agent Lover Man
Speaking of typos, that is not one. Remember from way up there where it is suggested that Weetzie will be the beneficiary of granted wishes? Well, one of them turns out to be the green-eyed, trenchcoated, rough-shaven, motorcycle-riding filmmaker who introduces himself to Weetzie by that name and proceeds to become her romantic interest. Even with all his wish-fulfillment flaws, the guy would probably still be all right to hang with except for that he’s one of those types of filmmakers. You know: he wants to film literally every waking moment of his life. Weetzie doesn’t seem to have a problem, but don’t be surprised if he becomes the embodiment of that well-worn advice about being very careful what you wish for. Not that he’s a bad guy; he’s actually pretty cool. But, man, some people are just a lot of work, right?
The Genie
Well, you know, come on, you can wish upon a magic lamp all you want, but unless there is a resident genie somewhere about they probably won’t come true. The lamp arrives in Weetzie’s possession courtesy of Dirk’s grandma, Fifi. As often happens with these sorts of things, the magic begins with the mundane task of trying to polish up the dulled exterior. Lo and behold, this action initiates the appearance of the genie. From there it is just a question of having seen one version or another of Aladdin to figure out how things proceed. Kudos to Weetzie for making the attempt at wishing for infinite wishes, but, alas, rules are rules even within the world of magic.
