Summary
Tom moves to comfort Kylie and reassure her about her hair, but Kylie admits that it’s not about the hair. She confesses that, although she’s never told anyone about this, she had known for a while that Fin liked Claire. Kylie discloses that after Daniel and Fin had a huge fight right before a big game, she told Fin to go after Claire even though she was with Daniel, since Daniel would often try and one-up Fin. Fin is indecisive, but Kylie convinces him to ask Claire over while she keeps guard. They’re both kind of nervous, but Claire comes over and they snuggle together for a while before they both decide that Claire should break up with Daniel. This is the Friday night before the accident. Kylie cries, saying that if she had just minded her own business then maybe Daniel and Fin wouldn’t have fought and then the accident wouldn’t have happened.
Tom insists that it’s no one’s fault, giving the example of how he himself fought with Daniel that night and how he told him that he was going down. After visiting him in prison, however, Tom has started to understand that Daniel was being really self-destructive at that point. Everyone on the team was fighting, and all of the new players were scared. Tom reflects that the adults felt like they couldn’t control Daniel, and he wonders if maybe Daniel was always going to do something that ended in something like this. Kylie admires how insightful he is about all this, and Tom acknowledges that he is learning to look into the future for a day where life can be okay again. They end the conversation on a light note as Tom attempts to get Kylie’s hair presentable.
Brendan keeps Tom at work in the shed so that he can begin to pay for Nepal, but he doesn’t work Tom too hard. Tom keeps an ear out for news of Chrissy when he can, and a couple of times, she comes around. One afternoon, Brendan takes him aside to talk about dinner at the club. Initially, he thinks it’s about staying away from Chrissy, but it’s actually about Brendan and Jonny being together. Brendan says that he hasn’t really shared with Tom like that, and he apologizes for not spending more time with Tom before the accident. Tom realizes that he didn’t really see Brendan outside of being his mom’s little brother before, but now he sees who he really is. Over the weekend, Rory comes to visit him at Gran’s to remind him that they’re playing St. John’s next weekend, and to get a sense of how he feels about it. Tom doesn’t really want to talk about it, though.
To keep his mind off of things, after dinner, he wanders over to Brendan’s cabin. Tom hears a noise but doesn’t announce his presence, instead watching Brendan. He’s drinking gin and listening to the Elton John song, “Daniel,” which they used to play all the time for Tom’s brother. As Brendan listens, tears stream down his face. Tom watches as Brendan begins to sob while mouthing along to the song, then quietly leaves. Monday morning, Tom is the first one at the gate and takes time to reflect on how seeing Brendan cry like that would have sent him on a downward spiral only a couple of months ago. But now, he understands that they are each on their own journeys. Even though he headed to the cabin to stop himself from thinking about the St. John’s game, the experience taught him to face things head-on instead. The game with St. John’s was just another hill to climb.
As Tom and Brendan are running together, Brendan lets Tom know that Chrissy really likes him. Tom is nervous, wondering where he could even take Chrissy when Brendan takes a detour and heads toward the river instead of their usual hill. He shows Tom his secret waterhole and tells him that he used to take Daniel and Fin here. He would have done the same thing for Tom, but there was an algae infestation the year Tom was supposed to come, and it slipped his mind. As they sit on the bank, Brendan tells him that the reason he didn’t leave Coghill as he had planned was because of the accident. Tom thanks him for staying, and Brendan replies that having Tom around has made it a lot easier. Tom brings up the idea of building a new chicken pen and getting Gran some new chickens for her birthday. Brendan pretends to be reluctant but agrees to help. Over the next week, Tom tries to fight the nerves he has about going against St. John’s. The whole team has been training hard and it’s clear that they have Tom’s back. They’re playing in neutral territory, halfway between the two schools.
On Thursday afternoon, Harvey tells Tom that he was invited to work in Sydney, but that he likes being at Bennie’s. His family has settled and he’s gotten to know the boys. Tom asks if he thinks there’s anybody on the team who could compete on a national level, and Harvey bluntly tells him that he could. Tom is flattered, and Harvey continues that he has seen Tom play before, but that he didn’t look very happy. Tom understands now that he hadn’t enjoyed the last season at St. John’s and that Bennie's has taught him the value of being in a team that loves the game. Later, Tom is closing up the shed for the night and Chrissy catches up with him. They talk a bit about the game, but soon they end up talking about Fin. Tom admits that he doesn’t see Fin as much because it makes him feel guilty. Chrissy shares that she felt a similar way after her father had a stroke, but that she regretted avoiding him after he died.
On the day of the match, Harvey gives the boys a pep talk as they prepare to face off against St. John’s. Tonelli, one of the players, stands up and shouts that the whole team is going to have Tom’s back, and then they all break into their chant. The first half is messy, with everyone nervous. They’re losing 9-0, but Tom is feeling good. Harvey gives them instructions, and the second half is more free-flowing. Bennie’s stands strong and begins to catch up to the St. John’s team. All of a sudden, Tom hears someone shout something about “killer” and “Brennan” and his world feels like it stops. The team, however, has his back and manages to keep St. John’s from scoring anymore. The game ends and the Bennie’s boys are triumphant, even though the final score was 7-9. Tom is overwhelmed though, and Chrissy sees what’s up and hauls him into her car. They head to Chrissy’s dad’s old picnic spot and just start talking. After a while, Tom takes her hand and decides to kiss her, making today remarkable not because of the match, but because he kissed Chrissy Tulake.
Fin is almost ready to leave the rehab center, and the whole family is spending the school holidays helping out. Tom wants to be with Chrissy, but the family insists that he spends time with Fin, since Fin will want to hear from him. Tom regrets feeling like Fin is a burden, but he finds it really difficult to be around him. Chrissy tells him that although she’ll miss him, he has to go and try to talk with Fin. Aunty Kath has decided not to go back to Mumbilli, since it didn’t have the resources Fin needed. She bought a ground floor unit for Fin instead, which she’s fitted out with accessibility measures. Fin comes home for the weekends sometimes to get him used to the new place. Tom overhears her telling Kylie that Fin is terrified to come back from rehab and that they’ll likely stay in Arlen for good.
As they’re putting the place together, Tom discovers that his dad has been paying for everything, and he feels like the debt their family owes Fin and Aunty Kath is never going to be paid. One day, Tom and Fin are going for a walk, when Fin starts reflecting on the old days. The conversation is stilted until Fin finally confronts Tom and tells him that he doesn’t hate Daniel. Tom doesn’t really respond, but Fin continues, telling Tom that he’s still receiving word from Claire and confirming that he knows that Tom knows they had been together. Fin expresses regret that he didn’t get Daniel in line and says that he’ll go and see him someday, especially since they were like brothers. Tom realizes that his longing to be with Chrissy is a way of escaping the pain of his family, of just being simple Tom Brennan again. He has missed that side of himself the most, but he can feel it coming back. The last week of the holidays, Brendan and Tom have come back to Coghill to build the chicken pen when Kylie calls from Aralen. She mentions that Fin has had a freakout and that she plans to stay with him until it gets resolved.
Tom’s parents are concerned with Kylie’s attachment to Fin, but Tom understands why she feels so responsible for him. Chrissy comes over often to help with the pen. They hang out, talking about his trip to Nepal and about how Tom’s mom has been doing better. Next week makes him nervous though, since it’s the anniversary of the accident. He sits with Chrisy, finally telling someone what that night was like, how afraid he was and how much it hurt to see Fin like that. Chrissy tells him although that moment won’t ever leave him, he’ll get used to it. Soon, the chicken pen is finished, and on Gran’s birthday, they blindfold her and surprise her with the chickens. Gran looks at Tom with tears in her eyes and gets right to scolding the rooster.
Tom’s friends want to throw a party for his eighteenth, but Tom thinks that they don’t realize how boring a party at Gran’s house would be. Plus, he wants to see Daniel since he hasn’t seen him since the weekend after the St. John’s game. Brendan had mentioned that they only talk about Daniel when they run, but Tom likes it that way. It’s almost like he’s there with them. To prepare for Mount Everest, Brendan has been designing special trails, and Tom has been seeing results. He’s starting to look forward to how nice the summer is going to be, especially once it’s warm enough to swim at the watering hole with Chrissy. Brendan asks if he’s going to visit Daniel this weekend even though it’s his birthday. Tom says that it’s not a huge deal since it won’t actually be the day of his birthday anyways. It’ll also be better than his last birthday since that was right after Daniel was sentenced. Brendan observes that Daniel has made a lot of progress since then.
On the run back, Brendan starts outlining what their trip to Nepal will be like to prepare Tom. Saturday, they head to visit Daniel. Every time Tom sees him in that green tracksuit, it’s painful for him. No matter what, he’s still his brother and a huge part of his entire life. Tom wonders if it’s such a bad thing to be happy that Daniel lived, even if what he did was unforgivable. When they meet, Daniel wishes him a happy birthday and asks about his girlfriend. Tom asks how he’s been, and after joking a bit, Daniel says that his friend Owen actually came to visit him. He was there when Tom was playing St. John’s and says that the Bennie’s team has gotten a lot better since Tom started on it, which doesn’t surprise Daniel at all. Daniel tells Tom he’s proud of him. Tom watches as their mom talks with Daniel and thinks that it’s almost unbelievable to think that he did that terrible thing.
For his birthday dinner, Tom’s family, Chrissy, and Jonny get together and have a party for him. He loves his presents from everyone, and at the end of the night, Gran calls him into his room and gives him a plane ticket to Nepal. The last week in October, Crissy is taking final exams and Tom wants to take her to the waterhole to celebrate. Chrissy has the same idea, and they meet on Saturday morning at seven. They go skinny dipping and have sex. It becomes the moment where Tom Brennan comes back, forever.
Analysis
Now, it’s Kylie’s turn to open up. Her revelation makes clear why she feels the need to protect Fin over Daniel, and why she’s so angry with him. Her vulnerability also helps Tom finally understand that there was nothing that they could have done to help Daniel. When the people in the town referred to Daniel as an accident waiting to happen, they weren’t entirely wrong. Although it wasn’t fair to Daniel to see him as an accident, Daniel’s self-destructive behavior wasn’t a one-off and it didn’t have anything to do with them. No matter what, Daniel would have eventually had to change his attitude. It’s just sad that it took such a tragedy for that to happen. With this new clarity, Tom can also see that he’s been viewing some of his past experiences with his old rugby team through rose-colored glasses. This deepens his resolve to look towards the future.
The relationship between Brendan and Tom continues to deepen, and by opening, Brendan shows Tom that he can trust him. The new community Tom is building becomes especially important as the match between Bennie’s and Tom’s old rugby team, St. John’s, approaches. That moment where Brendan is crying in his cabin shows Tom that even though things definitely still hurt and though playing his old team will be hard, it’s not the end of the world. Here, we can see that Tom’s worldview has shifted. He now understands that life is a series of ups and downs, with everyone getting over their “hills” in their own time. His relationship with Brendan is also deepening. Brendan’s choice to take him to the waterhole proves that he has developed a relationship with Brendan that is as deep, if not deeper, than the relationship that Daniel has with Brendan.
Being connected with others inspires Tom to take care of them, and this new peace inspires Tom to build a new chicken coop for his grandmother. It also helps Tom get through the next week, with Chrissy being especially helpful. Chrissy also pushes Tom to confront the guilt he has surrounding Fin, showing that moving on with life doesn’t mean abandoning people from the past, even if it’s difficult to maintain those connections. During the match, we see how much Tom has grown as a leader. In turn, the team supports him after someone from the St. John’s team brings up the accident. Instead of closing in on himself afterward, he opens up to Chrissy. Shifting the focus from the match to Chrissy reflects the way that Tom is starting to shift his focus from who he was in the past to who he could be in the future.
However, these new realizations don’t prevent Tom from sometimes being selfish. His relationship with Fin still isn’t any better, and Tom views him almost as a sort of obstacle to his new life with Chrissy. But as Chrissy already knows, he can’t move forward without doing the work to deal with his past. But there’s no simple answer for how to do that. While the fact that Tom’s dad is paying for everything is awful, it’s also awful that Aunty Katy and Fin won’t see any compensation for what happened to Fin. Tom has been making so much progress, he almost loses track of the fact that sometimes things take time. But Fin understands this and shows incredible strength of character in being so open to forgiving Daniel. While it’s wonderful that Tom is able to feel like himself again, it’s important to note that neither Fin nor Daniel can go back to the old versions of themselves at all. Some things might not resolve themselves, like Kylie’s guilt over being involved in Claire breaking up with Daniel. Nevertheless, it’s important for them to start to look towards the future, to open up, and to do kind things for each other.
Towards the end of the book, we see several moments where the characters come to the realization that life goes on, but it goes on in the context of the past. Tom and Brendan’s relationship is new, but it’s also built on their past with Daniel. The chicken pen is new, but Gran loves it because it’s something from her past that she thought she couldn’t have anymore. During the last visit with Daniel in the novel, we see how Daniel is moving on with the help of his family and people from his past like Owen. As the novel closes, with the gift of the plane ticket from Gran and the romantic scene with Chrissy, we finally see Tom fully come into his own.
