True Love Conquers All
Above all, The Mistletoe Promise is a love story and as such, shows love in a positive, rose-tinted light. The major theme of the novel is that real love does not hurt, harm or abuse, and is a life-enhancing thing that conquers all. Elise has believed herself to be in love before and also believed that her then-husband loved her in return. To someone like Elise, who had been abused by men in various ways all her life, love involved verbal and emotional abuse that was so intense that it actually made her believe that she herself was unlovable, and in this way made her accept whatever was offered on an emotional level, believing this to be love. When confronted with actual, genuine love, she is almost too scared to accept it as it is such an alien concept to her.
Nick and Elise have many obstacles to overcome with their love. Although it does not concern Nick that he is far more financially successful than his beloved, Elise is clearly troubled by it and constantly aware of the enormous discrepancy in their earnings. However, Nick's frequent lavish gifts are a sign of his love and affection for her, not a sign that he is pointing out how much more financially secure he is than she, and in this way the depth of their love overcomes what could be a difficult situation. Similarly the standard of the companies that they work for could be very awkward, as highlighted by the difference in style of the two Christmas parties that the couple attend, but because Nick loves Elise he is as charming and enthusiastic about attending her office celebration as he is about attending the law firm partner's celebration the following evening.
Elise believes that once someone finds out that her carelessness caused the death of her daughter they will not be able to love her, but this is actually the opposite of what Nick feels. Remembering her from the interview he conducted with her after the tragedy as a junior member of the Prosecutor's Office, Nick feels only sadness for her and believes one hundred percent that she was overwhelmed and absorbed in a crisis of a marriage, rather than a neglectful mother, and as a result loves her even more deeply because she has endured not only the hatred of others, but from herself as well.
In the end, Nick and Elise are truly in love, and this love is able to overcome the differences in their lives, the tragedies of their past, and likely anything that they have to contend with in their future.
Domestic Abuse
Elise is abused by all of the men in her life until she meets Nick. One of the themes of the novel is that once conditioned to accept abuse as the norm, a person then seems to attract further abusers, believing that to be all that they are worth. The daughter of an obviously deranged father who abused her mentally and physically, Elise has the bar set so low when it comes to men that her ex-husband, an emotionally abusive, distant cheat seems like a distinct upgrade to her father, and almost a relief to Elise. It is almost as though Elise accepts the abuse because it is what she is used to, and does not stop to consider whether this is actually the norm within society, or whether she deserves better. She is also abusive to herself by staying with her increasingly abusive husband, partly because she does not see another option for herself, and partly because she wants to be treated badly after the death of her daughter, believing that she actually deserves it. Elise stops believing in her own right to happiness which is also why she stays in an abusive relationship.
Even Elise's best friend abuses their relationship by having an affair with her husband.
Mark, Elise's ex-husband, is shown as a classic abuser, as he is controlling and demanding and always wants his own way. Even after Elise makes it clear that she has moved on and is not interested in rekindling their old relationship, he refuses to take no for an answer, and attempts to sabotage her relationship with Nick. Part of his abuse is wanting her to be unhappy, whether with him or without him. The fact that Elise has graduated from accepting this kind of treatment is also part of the theme that abuse is a cycle that has to be broken by the person who is being abused, not by a force from outside of the relationship.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a major theme in The Mistletoe Promise. Nicholas Deer and Elise Dutton each suffered traumatic experiences in their lives. They spend their lives believing that they do not deserve love in their lives because of these past tragedies.
Elise feels that she cannot be loved because of the responsibility she feels for the death of her daughter. No one would be able to love her if they knew of her actions that lead to her daughter’s death. She believes that she does not deserve to be loved. She is scared to admit her love for Nicholas for fear that he will leave once he know her truth. She must come to terms with what she did and forgive herself for her daughter’s death before she can move on with her life.
Nicholas threw himself into his school and work to become successful but would not let himself have love in his life. This only changes when he visits the graves of the family that he killed and receives forgiveness from the only surviving member of the family, a girl who is now seventeen. This forgiveness gives him the courage to look for love. He wants to help Elise to forgive herself so that she can also find the joy in life that love will bring.
Hope
Hope is a theme of The Mistletoe Promise. Elise wants to have joy in her life. She agrees to the contract with Nicholas so that she will not be alone for the holidays. Since the death of her daughter and her divorce, she has been hiding from life. She has no one she can call a friend and lives her life from day to day just surviving not truly living.
Nicholas’ offer of pretending to be a couple gives her something to look forward to each day. It brings joy into her life and makes her hope for a future that she feels that she does not deserve. This hope leaves her happy and sad as she wants to have someone to share her life with but does not believe she deserves someone. This stems from the guilt that she feels for her daughter’s death and the abuse she suffered at the hands of her father and abandonment and betrayal of her husband.
Hope gives her courage to accept the contract that will lead her on a journey of redemption and forgiveness. This journey will end in finding love and accepting that she deserves to be loved.
Guilt
Guilt is a theme of The Mistletoe Promise. Nicholas and Elise both feel guilty for causing harm to others. Each made mistakes that they cannot change but must learn to live with so that they can move on with their lives. Nicholas has come to terms with his guilt and wants to help Elise to let go of her guilt and to embrace life. He does this by showering her with gifts. She has never had anyone who treated her with kindness, and he want to show her that she is worthy of love.
Their fake relationship makes her step out of the bubble of safety and loneliness that she has built for herself. She not only tries new things but establishes true friendships. Elise comes out of the shell that she built around herself and is able to accept that she does deserve to live life to the fullest.
Self-Esteem/Self-Worth
Self Esteem/Self Worth is a theme of The Mistletoe Promise. Elise has self-esteem issues stemming from the abuse of her father, the infidelity of her husband and her guilt over the death of her daughter. She does not believe that Nicholas can love her because she does not feel beautiful or worthy of love. Elise does not want Nicholas to meet Zoey because she feels he will fall for her since Elise feels that Zoey is beautiful. She does not see herself as beautiful and Nicholas tries to make her see that she is. He buys her an antique mirror because he wants her to really look at herself and see the beauty that he sees.
Zoey tells Elise when she is helping her to prepare for Nicholas’ office Christmas party that she is a natural beauty and that they just need to enhance her beauty. Elise does not feel beautiful because her husband cheated on her with her best friend and after her divorce she didn’t care about her appearance. Dressing up and having Zoey do her makeup makes her see herself as beautiful.
Her relationship with Nicholas makes her reevaluate how she sees herself and how those around her see her. She grows to appreciate who she is and how her experiences have shaped her personality and feeling of self-worth.
