Father Son Relationship
The main theme of the novel is the father-son relationship and in this novel it is shown in all of its complexity and difficulty. The father and son in the novel have a complicated and combative relationship because they are profoundly different people. They have the natural competitiveness that a father and an oldest son who is becoming a man often find that they have; Ben's becoming a teen is threatening to his father in the same way that a stag finds a younger stag a threat and the two clash antlers over who is going to run Ben's life - Ben himself, or his father. Ben feels that his father is an autocratic bully whom he can never please and who never shows love for his kids. Bull feels that his kids need a very firm hand and he is utterly incapable of treating them any differently to the way he treats the soldiers under his command. The theme also shows that it is very difficult to discern love in a relationship between two people who express love so differently. Ben believes that he hates his father but realizes too late that he actually loved him very much. Similarly Bull loves his son but is unable to express that and so it has to be taken as inferred rather than as a given by his children.
The Military Life
Bull is a military man, and incapable of being a civilian or of treating civilians in any way other than as his underling or subordinate. This makes his relationships very difficult and he often causes offense and creates conflicts where they did not need to occur or escalate. The military bond between soldiers is shown in a relatively negative light, for example, in showing the antisocial behavior of his unit when having his leaving party in Barcelona. It is also shown that the men behave in a different way when together than they otherwise would on their own. The theme also extends to demonstrating that when one member of the family is in the military, the rest of the family is as well. For example, the entire Meecham family move to South Carolina when Bull is posted there, regardless of whether they want to or not, and Lillian Meecham actually moves back to Atlanta after the death of her husband, suggesting that she had not wanted to move in the first place. The military camaraderie is also demonstrated within this theme of the novel.
Being An Outsider
Despite the fact the he is on the basketball team Ben is not one of the "popular jock" set and feels like an underdog or an outsider. He is therefore drawn to other outsiders, proving the there is a bond between underdogs. He befriends the kids who are on the sidelines such as the Jewish student and the black student whose family are farmers. This becomes a theme of Ben's life because he has a tendency to feel like an outsider wherever he is, be it at home or at school.
Dysfunctional Families
The theme of family dysfunction is prominent in the novel. Conroy has said that a dysfunctional family is a gift to an author and the Meecham's are definitely dysfunctional in the extreme. His mother's demeanor changes even at the thought of her husband coming home and her anxiety increases, yet she adores him and will always side with him rather than the children. Surprisingly she is the only person who can tell her husband to do anything and points out his etiquette failings with positive results. Because of his autocratic and sadistic nature, the Meecham children find it difficult to bond with their father. This creates a lot of problems and conflicts, and he is completely impossible to please which means that as soon as he is able Ben creates distance between them. It is impossible for them to have a normal, loving relationship and for this reason Ben cannot discern the difference between love and hate, and love and bitterness.
