Ben Realizing He Loves His Father
For his entire childhood, Ben counted the days to when he would turn eighteen years old and leave home. This was entirely due to the fact that he hated his father. Ben found his father to be sadistic, mean, a bully, and everything that he could not respect. He always felt that his father never loved him and that he was a complete disappointment to him. However, as the family were driving back to Georgia after Bull's funeral, Ben realizes that actually he did love his father after all, but never knew how to process the complicated emotions. This is ironic because he only realized he loved Bull after it was too late to try to mend their relationship.
Ben Wanting His Father's Love
Ben freely admits that he did not love his father, and that in fact throughout his childhood believed that he hated the older man. Ironically, although he felt some love coming from his mother, it was the love of the man he felt he could never please that he really craved; it is ironic to crave love from the person who emotionally abuses you.
The Gift Of A Dysfunctional Childhood
The author has said that it was actually a great gift to be blessed with a dysfunctional childhood because he is an author. It's hard to read this novel and feel that his childhood and family life were in any way a blessing, but ironically, for an author, they are exactly that because his childhood is such a rich source of material for his novel.
Portrayal of Bull Bringing Father and Son Together
For many years, including the years in which he was writing the book, Pat Conroy and his father were estranged and did not speak. This situation escalated into a full-blown feud after the initial publication because Bull recognized that he was "The Great Santini" and was angered by the portrayal in the book. Ironically, once the book received acclaim and actually made him a little famous, he was such an egotist that he began to appreciate the portrayal of him and it ended up bringing father and son together again and ending their feud.
Lilian Meecham As A Parent
As a parent, Lilian is seen to be the loving one of the two. Particularly when he is not at home she is the loving and gentler influence that a child like Ben needs. This is actually very ironic because although she is seen as the softer parent, she is passively aggressively just like Bull; although not sadistic like he is, if she had a problem with his parenting style at all she could have just said something, since she is the only person from whom he will take direction or criticism and he listens to what she has to say without argument or question.
