Maria - "Puppy"
"Puppy" centers around the lives of two women, one of whom is Maria. They are neighbors but not friends, or even barely acquaintances. Maria is a family-first kind of woman with her priorities straight - she would rather have a happy home than a tidy, organized one. Her home is filed with love and animals. She is an advocate for animal rescue and has raised her children the same way. Initially she wants to help the puppy that Callie offers her, and she also wants to make her children happy by bringing him into their home, but is put off when she sees Callie's son chained to a tree in the yard. Maria acts in what seems to be an out-of-character way when she withdraws from any contact with Callie and wants nothing more to do with her. It is surprising that she doesn't try to intervene or contact authorities given that she seems to be a community-minded person; however, she acts as many of the more decent characters in Saunders' stories do, and looks the other way.
Callie - "Puppy"
Callie is married to a man who breeds and sells animals for a living but has no feeling for them whatsoever; they might as well be widgets, bottles of dish detergent or sneakers. Callie is not quite so heartless but she is nonetheless weak and because she wants to appease her husband says nothing about his activities and does not voice any kind of opposition to it. She becomes involved in the sale of the puppies and tries to sell one to her neighbor but turns out to be more like her husband than she imagined as when Maria pulls out of the deal to buy the puppy Callie abandons him in a field and leaves him to die.
Maria's parenting skills and ideas are questionable as to prevent her child from running off and getting into the trafic she chains him to a tree in the yard. She says this is out of both necessity and love but it illustrates that similar to her husband she sees other living creatures as something to own and not something to raise.
Allison - "Victory Lap"
Allison is the victim of a kidnapping, witnessed by her erstwhile friend Kyle. Allison used to be friendly with Kyle but has recently begun to hang out with the popular crowd, and now she doesn't really hang out with him at all. Although we have no concrete evidence for assuming her to be one of the "mean girls" some of Kyle's comments suggest this might be true.
Kyle - "Victory Lap"
Kyle is ruled with a rod of iron at home; his parents are strict and have high standards that he must adhere to. He is therefore raised rather differently from other kids in his class and is seen as a bit different too. He is not one of the popular crowd. He has a curfew, which he breaks, and in doing so witnesses Allison's kidnap. Kyle is a good kid who now has a big dilemma, and is not sure how to deal with it. If he stays quiet about what he saw, Allison might never be found, but he won't be in any trouble either. If he tells, then he might get into trouble and there might also be reprisals that will cause him trouble and pain. Kyle is another of the author's 'silent witnesses' who wants to turn a blind eye to what he has seen, although to be fair he is far more reluctant to do so than the majority of the adult characters in Saunders' stories.
Al Roosten
Al is the eponymous hero of a story about envy and success. Al is not very successful. He runs an antique business which basically entails selling the possessions of people who were very successful, to people who are very successful, all of which really rubs his nose in the fact that he feels disrespected by the people of his town. He minds this disrespect terribly. He is a decent man who is also giving back to the community, participating in a charity event that brings him into contact with his social nemesis of whom he is jealous. Al's daydreams show that he has a good heart though; he doesn't dream of harming Larry Donfrey and taking his place in the townsfolk's hearts and minds, but instead dreams of a situation in which they might become good friends.
Larry Donfrey ' - "Al Roosten"
Realtor Larry Donfrey is charming and has the gift of the gab, which makes him an all around popular guy in town. He is confident and genial, which his rival Al Roosten is not. He doesn't like Roosten very much but is not jealous of him.
Jeff - "Escape From Spiderhead"
Jeff is a convicted felon sent to a prison where inmates are used as guinea pigs for a developmental pharmaceutical engineer. He is smart enough to work out what the experiments are doing to him and his fellow inmates, but powerless to do anything about it. He does not resist the first experiments because the medication he is forced to take causes him to feel attraction to a woman named Wendy, and subsequently to Rachel, another inmate. This isn't the worst thing that could happen so he is compliant.
However, when he realizes that he is being used as a tool to cause pain to Rachel, he rebels and refuses to participate in the experiment. He is one of the Saunders characters who takes his own life not because he is depressed or particularly suicidal, but because he is euthanizing himself to escape the pain that he knows will come if the experiments continue.
Heather and Rachel - "Escape From Spiderhead"
Both prisoners at Spiderhead, Heather and Rachel both take the experimental drugs that they are ordered to and suffer great pain as a consequence. Heather takes her own life whilst under the influence of the drugs because she doesn't want to experience the pain she is in anymore.
Ray Abnesti
It is not a question about immorality when it comes to Ray Abnesti; he is completely amoral, with the sensibilities of a Nazi doctor, seeing people as experiments that will further his point of view and prove him right amongst his peers. Abnesti believes that he has created a drug that can control how people feel about each other, and he does seem to have done this because before Jeff takes the drug he does not have any attraction to Heather or Rachel; after he takes the drug he is madly in love and deeply physically attracted to them. Abnesti also wants to push the boundaries of human relationships and feelings, offering a kind of Sophie's Choice to Jeff, telling him to choose which of the women he likes the best so that she will be the one saved from suffering the horrible effects of his drug. He is a deeply flawed and extremely evil character.
Mikey - "Home"
Returning from war is never easy, and Mikey is struggling more than most with the experience. He is finding that nothing is as he remembers it being and he is coming to terms with a world that might feel the same to those who never went to war, but feels horribly unfamiliar to him. He is living with his mother now he has come home and is finding it hard to adjust.
Ted the Janitor - "My Chivalric Fiasco"
Ted is the janitor at a Medieval theme park, probably one of the lowest rungs on the corporate ladder as far as his boss, Don Murray, is concerned. That is, until Ted witnesses Murray raping another member of staff. True to form in a Saunders story, Ted is persuaded to "un-see" the rape, and in return for his silence is given a promotion. This makes him similar to many of the characters in Saunders' short stories who all choose not to see something that challenges their status quo.
Ted is also the most ironic character in the collection of stories; he is promoted to pacing guard, and takes part in the Medieval spectacles that the park offers every day. He is given KnightLyfe, a mind altering drug that helps him think, act and feel like a knight of the realm. Unfortunately it makes him chivalrous and his chivalry dictates that he must save the damsel in distress from her attacker; Ted reports the rape in order to save the damsel. He is fired.
Don Murray - "My Chivalric Fiasco"
Murray is the general manager of the Medieval theme park where Ted works as janitor. He is one of those men who uses his position to overpower others, particularly women, and he rapes one of his staff members. The impression given by the author is that it is not the first time Murray has raped someone, although it is the first time he has been witnessed doing so. He is unrepentant and "buys off" the witness. This is another example of an amoral and sociopathic character treating the people around him as if they are pawns in his own chess game. He is ultimately revealed to be a rapist by the newly knight-like Ted, and gets his revenge by firing Ted from the park.
Lilly - "The Semplica Girl Diaries"
Lilly is a middle class girl with upper class friends and aspirations, and also tastes and demands. Her father is very indulgent of her and constantly trying to buy her way into social favor with the rich kids in her school. Lilly receives live trafficked women known as Semplica Girls as a gift from her father, for her to use as human ornaments. Although her sister frees the girls because she knows that keeping humans as pets is wrong, Lilly feels no such stab of humanity.
Unnamed Man - "Tenth of December"
The author once said that the inspiration for the character of the un-named man in "Tenth of December" was his thoughts about how he would react if he was told he had a terminal illness. The un-named man is really the author as he struggles with his disease and realizes that he would prefer euthanasia to waiting tor a long drawn out and painful death. He has made up his mind to take his own life but when he meets a boy in the woods where he had intended to end it he finds that he still has a lot to learn about himself. This story is the most autobiographical one in the collection because although the situation is fictional, the way in which the man reacts to it is the author's own real-life reaction to the questions that the man is facing.
