Female Friendships
The novel delves into one of the most treasured relationships of all, female friendship. It explores the effect of time on relationships. Lily and Snow Flower share a ‘laotong’ relationship, an emotional bond made by the efforts of a matchmaker. They pledge to be ‘old same’ for life. The relationship of love and loyalty empowers the young girls to endure the trials of patriarchy. The camaraderie between the two women comes to an end when a misunderstanding tears them apart. The story rejoices the restoration of a lost friendship when Lily becomes a caregiver to a dying Snow Flower.
Cultural Norms
The tradition of foot-binding depicts the bewildering fixation with feet. As a part of the stomach-churning custom, the feet of little girls are gruesomely tied and stunted in the hope that they will become beautiful like lotus buds. The ritual starts at the age of six years and takes two years to complete. The brutal mutilation frequently involves broken bones, infections, and incapacitation. The custom serves the purpose of preparing doll-like females to attract grooms from the upper-class of society. According to the Confucian norms, after foot binding women are supposed to live in a secluded chamber of the house. The culture follows an arranged marriage system in which parents to decide upon their daughter's future husband.
Patriarchal Attitudes
In a feudal Chinese society, women are uneducated, isolated, and undervalued. Physical abuse impacts their daily existence. They live by the expectations of a male-centric society. Lily’s mother teaches her ‘When a girl, obey your father; when a wife, obey your husband; when a widow, obey your son.’ Women remain subservient to their mothers-in-law and sons are sought after. It is indeed ironical that women sometimes reinforce the patriarchal structure that traps them.
Family Relationships
Lily marries a man from a noble family. From the daughter of a poor household, she becomes the revered Lady Lu. However, she remains submissive to her husband and mother-in-law. Lily displays maternal love to her daughter in the same way that her mother did, by slapping her. The slap is meant for ‘good luck’ and to ‘ward off evil spirits.’ Snow Flower, the wife of a butcher, faces poverty and hardships. She endures violence and abuse from her husband and mother-in-law. She goes through the pain of miscarriages and stillbirths.
Communication
Over the years, Lily and Snow Flower send notes to each other on a silk fan. They use a secret language, nu shu, to share their joys and tragedies, hopes and frustrations. They paint letters, embroider messages on handkerchiefs, and compose stories. Lily teaches Snow Flower cooking and cleaning, while Snow Flower teaches Lily the art of weaving and calligraphy. The silk fan records their achievements, anxieties, and failures. It provides women with a medium to express themselves in a society bound by rigid social conventions.
