“Everyone is f***ing her, everyone is getting what they want except Elaine – Elaine wants relief, and Elaine wants attention. She wants someone to respond to her, not because they get something out of it, not because it fills some pathetic need of their own, not because they want something back, but just because…”
Elaine ponders about her extramarital affairs that are intended for seeking excitement and satisfaction in her boring suburban life. Akin to her husband Paul, she pursues sexual acts with other partners to quench her yearnings in order to feel something again. However, she does not seem to achieve contentment or rather get rid of her boredom, as everyone in it is self-seeking in these escapades. Thus, Elaine still feels the emptiness of not getting genuine attention and care.
“What does ‘stuck’ mean?” “It means I should make some big decision, I should do some enormous thing. And I can’t do anything. I can’t stand my life, and I can’t change it.” “Maybe it’s not an enormous thing,” he says. “Maybe you have to do one small thing and then another small thing.”
Elaine and Paul express their sentiments regarding the dullness of domesticity and the lack of spark in their lives and marriage. Thus, Elaine points out if she has to do some grand gesture in order to save their marriage and happiness. Paul suggests that the big thing is probably not the solution but rather smaller gestures that might make them not be stuck in a rut. However, they both do not like their lives and choose to do a drastic measure by the conclusion, burning their house down.
“Every day Elaine thinks about disappearing. She will leave and take nothing with her – “You have yourself” is what people say, and that’s what stops her. She fears she is nothing. Nonexistent.”
This central character further accentuates her disillusionment with marriage through her introspection regarding her lack of self-worth. Elaine feels insignificant within the stable lifestyle of white picket fences and wishes to pursue pleasure. She wants to abandon her entire life but she is held back by the fact that she might find herself to be hollow in essence. Thus, still chooses to stick around even though it does not give her any sort of self-assurance.
