Moths (Symbol)
In Me (Moth), the moth (the insect, not the character) is a symbol of both transformation and death. As she narrates the story, Moth comments on the difference between butterflies and moths. Similar in their appearances and life cycles, moths and butterflies are symbolic of change because of the way they transform from caterpillars to winged insects. However, moths are nocturnal creatures that have long been associated with typically negative ideas like darkness, ugliness, death, and insanity. The moth's connection to the night has also led various cultures to see moths as messengers from the spirit realm whose presence may be "a blessing & an omen." In the novel, McBride plays with both the moth's transformative and supernatural associations. First, she shows how Moth enters a dissociative, cocoon-like state following the car crash and longs to emerge feeling more like herself again. Simultaneously, Moth has become a ghost, arriving in Sani's life as a companion who brings him both comfort and instability. With Sani's help, Moth ultimately leaves her symbolic cocoon and flutters on to the afterlife with her wings covered in "dusty golden glitter." Meanwhile, with Moth's help, Sani emerges from his own cocoon of depression and finds his singing voice again.
Sani's Pills (Motif)
At the outset of their relationship, Moth notices that Sani often takes small blue and white pills. She doesn't know the name of the medication, but she realizes Sani takes this prescription medication to regulate his unspecified mental illness. During the road trip, he says, "I've always needed pills, blue-and-white pills, but I need them less with you." Upon arriving at Sani's father's home, Sani's father—a traditional Navajo healer—puts out herbal pills for Sani to take. He insists that his son consistently take this herbal remedy alongside his blue and white pills. However, Sani throws the herbal pills away just before he pulls Moth close and tells her she can haunt his dreams. With this scene, McBride implies that the herbal pills are to ward off ghosts from taking advantage of Sani, who is able to commune with the dead. Similarly, the blue and white pills are a Western medical intervention to treat Sani's manic-depressive symptoms, which have become bound up with his susceptibility to interference from the spirit realm. In this way, Sani resists taking his pills because some part of him knows his connection to Moth will be lost if he is consistently medicated.
Five Finger Grass Tattoo (Motif)
Among the tattoos on Sani's body is one of five finger grass, located above his wrist. When they are first getting to know each other, Sani tells Moth he has "had it forever." Moth replies, "In Hoodoo five finger grass tempts others to do your bidding." Beyond telling her she knows her plants "like a medicine man," Sani comments no further on the tattoo. The motif next arises when Moth has a dream while sleeping in the back of the Jeep. She sees Grandfather hand five-finger grass to a child version of Sani. Sani eats the grass, which appears tattooed on his skin. The mysterious motif is resolved at the novel's climax when Sani's father reveals that Grandfather arranged for Sani to see Moth's spirit and help her find her way to the afterlife. Sani's father explains that the five-finger grass simply appeared on Sani's skin one day, "like an omen." With this information, it becomes clear to the reader that Grandfather used five-finger grass to make Sani do his bidding. This means that even though Sani has genuine affection for Moth, their connection arose because of Grandfather's Hoodoo curse and his use of five-finger grass.
Dancing (Symbol)
Throughout Me (Moth), the act of dancing is associated with freedom. Early in her narration, Moth speaks of her lifelong ambition to dance ballet, which she has been doing since childhood. Even though her feet, contorted to fit into uncomfortable pointe shoes, would bleed and blister, she didn't mind the pain because the joyous nature of dancing made up for any discomfort. Following the car crash, Moth stops dancing, feeling that it would be inappropriate to engage in a joyous activity while she is grieving her family. She declares: "I am a dancer, but I only dance with the air now," a reference to the fact she dances only in her imagination. After meeting Sani and rediscovering the pleasure of life, Moth finally agrees to dance again, following the rhythms of the music Sani plays by their campfire. At the end of the book, Moth accepts that it is time to join her ancestors in the afterlife. In her last message to Sani, Moth says that she will dance whenever she hears him sing—an activity her spirit is free to do for eternity now that she has passed through a purgatory-like stage.
Singing (Symbol)
In Me (Moth), McBride presents singing as a symbol of spiritual harmony. Early in their relationship, Moth recognizes that Sani is a talented singer and guitarist. However, he suffers from mental and emotional distress. He is shown to have a dependence on mood-regulating medication and to come from a dysfunctional home environment, and these factors limit his ability to sing. When Moth encourages him to apply to Juilliard, he says: "Finding my voice (again) is not ... easy." He later speaks of how his voice has left him before and could leave again, hinting at how bouts of depression leave him without the impetus to sing. However, as he and Moth provide each other companionship and encouragement, Sani feels a sense of spiritual balance and finds that he can sing again, evidenced by the "Summer Song" he improvises throughout their road trip. At the end of the book, Sani performs this song, ten years after the summer he spent with Moth, to a sold-out crowd at Madison Square Garden. The scene shows that, with Moth's influence, Sani attained a level of spiritual harmony that enabled him to find his voice and keep it.
