The abaya
In order to be safe in Iraq, Fernea must abandon her opinions about gender and equality. The abaya symbolizes her subjection to the new cultural norms. There isn't room for her to maintain her original disposition, so the abaya represents a difficult emotional journey. The book shows her being accepted by the women who explain their point of view. Indeed, the abaya does represent a kind of oppression by the men.
Learning a new language
There is a symbolic moment in the book when Fernea has to learn a new language, but it isn't like learning Spanish or something. She must learn how to read from right to left in a foreign script, and she must learn to speak with sounds that her language doesn't contain. The newness of language is humbling to her; she suddenly gains a new appreciation for the human experience, and once she knows enough of the language, the culture reaches out and grabs her to help her learn even faster. Language is seen as a beautiful symbol for people in their various ways of life.
The book within the book
This very memoir is mentioned in the memoir so that the reader can understand the book in its context. Without context, it's a simple journey into the unknown. With context, the book can be seen as the diamond formed from the pressure of her time in Iraq, the loneliness she endures, and the sadness she must experience. The book is a living symbol for her need to make meaning out of her difficult times.
The village women's opinion
When she learns the language, Fernea gains a new access to the village. The women quickly accept her. They band together because many of their husbands are abusive. They urge her to find a way to live closer to her mother, and they are astonished that she doesn't keep a secret stash of money in case she has to make a quick exit in the night. The group is brilliant and vibrant, and they encourage each other. They bring out one another's personalities, such that the village is a portrait of the resilience of their spirit. Although their culture keeps them oppressed, they don't allow that to detract from their time together.
The departure
The sign of Fernea's personal victory in Iraq comes when she departs and the village women write letters to her telling her how they miss her. The letters are in a language she had to learn upon arrival, so her ability to understand them is symbolic. She has mastery enough to belong there, and ironically, she attains it just in time to leave. The departure signals the end of a life cycle and the beginning of something new.
