"I am not an anthropologist."
Fernea opens her book with this disclaimer. Although she does continue to write and document her travels with her husband, eventually becoming a successful ethnographer, she claims no such authority in this first attempt. She writes this book more as a memoir of her time in El Nahrib.
"My principles were not as strong as my desire to be inconspicuous and well thought of in my new home."
Fernea is welcomed into her new community, but she balks at some of the restrictions placed upon her as a woman. She reticently gives into wearing an abayah, more because she desires ease of acceptance and mobility than for respect to this custom. She is a patient observer, but the culture demands her participation at all fronts.
"My uneasiness grew in this atmosphere of half-hearing and part-understanding."
Fernea describes how difficult her transition to life in Iraq was at first. She didn't speak the language, so she suffered from a constant nervous state for fear of somehow having violated customs without knowing or being able to correct her mistake. With the acquisition of the language, she becomes much more comfortable and begins developing meaningful relationships with the women around her.
"I [was] so upset at being accused of laziness and incompetence by a group of illiterate tribal ladies."
Relationship with the native women was not always so straight-forward for Fernea. She struggles to feel welcome among them, especially when she starts identifying her own prejudices. Although she is the stranger in their community, Fernea describes carrying a sense of pride around which she had to abandon in order to grow closer to the women. She had unwittingly looked down on them for because of cultural bias.
