Grief
Several of the stories of this collection center around the concept of grief. Characters in "A story of folding and unfolding," "Cold Iron," and "College" all are faced with processing the deaths of their loved ones. Based seemingly upon their life stages, they process their grief differently. For the mature adult husband of "A story of folding and unfolding," his grief is raw but realistic. He finds consolation in recognizing the value of his memories with his wife before her death, rather than dwelling upon her absence. Although he is losing her daily presence, he decides to memorialize her better in his active thoughts. The daughter in "Cold Iron" exercises discernment in recalling her interactions with her mom. She recognizes that her mother wasn't really emotionally available for her, which strained their relationship. Her challenge in grief is to forgive her mother for the neglect and to forgive herself for holding a grudge against her mom during her life. Now that it's too late to apologize to her mother directly, the daughter faces a sort of guilty experience of the mourning process. Finally, the high school girl, Alex, in "College" attempts to run away from the facts of her sister's death. She's not emotionally equipped to process the ordeal, and her parents' seemingly callous treatment of the ceremony only complicates matters for Alex. She seeks space and a departure from the routine in order to find peace in her sister's premature and sudden absence.
Nostalgia
Nostalgia is another prevalent theme throughout these stories. Since many characters reunite with old friends, they necessarily are forced to confront their pasts. The protagonist in "A quick one" demonstrates her romanticized connection to her relationship with her ex. She's allowed herself to transform those memories into something central to her own identity, with which she is loathe to part, despite no longer desiring to associate with her ex. He represents a part of her past which she's afraid will not remain if she leaves him. For the girl in "Jenny Robertson your friend is not coming," her nostalgia manifests in the transitoriness of identity. She remembers who Elizabeth used to be and wishes to evoke that same identity from her friend now, but she's wishing for a past which no longer exists. Jenny's distorted relationship to nostalgia is causing her to harm her friend now because she won't accept Elizabeth in all the way's she's changed. Doubtless this response is a reflection of Jenny's youth, not having experienced many dramatic personal changes yet, but she's quickly recognizing her own inability to preserve the status quo. Additionally the characters of "The touching of wood" and "The world with love" each recall with distinct nostalgia the meaningful experiences of their recent or distant histories with friends. Through each of these stories, Smith links nostalgia with relationship. It is always the case that a character demonstrates nostalgia as a desire to relive some past experience with a loved one.
Crisis
The other central them found throughout this book is crisis, which is to say characters face important, life-changing moments in which they must decide to change their behavior or have no choice but to change. For example, Melissa in "Text for the day" decides to abandon her studies and travel the world. She hasn't found fulfillment in academia, despite her love of learning, and chooses to pursue global cultures. This is an impulsive decision to be sure, but Melissa demonstrates a certain clarity of her situation. To her, the lack of meaning in her daily life constitutes a crisis which had to be resolved immediately, hence her abrupt departure. Similarly, the protagonist of "The unthinkable happens to people every day" suffers a nervous breakdown which forces him to reexamine his life. He's unable to continue in his current mode of living because he will literally die from the stress, so he's in the difficult position of having to confront his own nasty habits. He finds solace during a trip to a loch in Scotland where a little girl reminds him of the joys of curiosity and vulnerability.
