A son (symbol)
A son is a symbol of immortality. It is not a secret that the in the majority of cultures a son is valued more than a daughter. Peter’s father says that without him – his only son – he will “die.” Three daughters don’t matter much, they aren’t his way to immortality. Peter feels his father “staring through” his eyes. “The grandfather I hadn’t known, the great-grandfather, all watching my father strove not to shame them.” “All of them watching” Peter now. He feels ashamed of himself, for he is going to let down several generations of his male accentors.
Sabrina (allegory)
For Peter, Sabrina is allegory of femininity. He borrowed “Sabrina” from the Fort Michel library many years ago. He “renewed it twice and then never returned it.” Peter chose to watch “only a few parts over and over again.” It was “Hepburn pacing in an organza Givenchy gown and pearl teardrop earrings.” It was Hepburn in “black slacks and a black shirt that plunges down her back.” He loved the scene where Sabrina went to Europe only to become even more “sophisticated, even more perfect.” Sabrina was his alter-ago.
Looking for yourself (motif)
Peter didn’t know who he was. “I don’t know,” was all he could say. People asked him questions that he couldn’t answer or was afraid to answer. He didn’t know for sure if he was “a fag” or heterosexual, but he was sure that as soon as he found a way to get rid of that “thing” his life would improve significantly. He dreamed to look like “a Mommy” from the ads he used to watch when he was a little boy. He dreamed about women’s bodies, he envied them, for his own didn’t look like theirs. His life was a struggle.
