"There is only one demand, and it is a simple one: At four this afternoon, Prime Minister Michael Callow must appear on live British television, on all networks terrestrial and satellite, and have full un-simulated sexual intercourse with a pig. I don't understand!"
This quote is spoken by Princess Susannah, who is reading off a card her kidnapper holds out of frame. In this moment, Callow learns of the kidnapper's bizarre demand, which undermines his expectations by having nothing to do with extremist political interests or money. The princess doesn't understand the point of the ransom either, as captured by her cry of "I don't understand!" With this surreal turn in what appeared to be a straightforward political drama, Brooker sets the uniquely nightmarish tone of Black Mirror.
"This can't go wide. Keep it so far from the press it's on the other side of Jupiter. This only exists in this room."
After hearing the ransom requirements, the prime minister realizes the damage the story could have if it were released to the press and the public; he therefore tells his aides that all information must be confidential. However, the hostage video was uploaded to YouTube, and has already proliferated online. By the time Callow makes this announcement, he is unaware that the video has already been viewed over 50,000 times. Despite having all the power of the British government behind him, Callow is helpless to limit the reach of social media.
"I’m not fucking a pig. Page one, that’s not happening."
"Of course."
Upon learning that his staffers have verified the kidnapping video's authenticity, Callow lets the surreal implications sink in. After a moment, he declares that there is no way he will have sex with a pig. When his aides are silent, Callow looks to them for support. Once prompted, his aides affirm what he has said, shaking their hanging heads. In this comic moment, the Prime Minister's staff give away their doubts about finding an alternative to fulfilling the kidnapper's demand.
"What's our play?"
"This is virgin territory, prime minister. There is no playbook."
At the end of Part One, Callow's staff gravely inform him that the video's online proliferation means it is already a trending topic on Twitter. The media haven’t run the story because of the D-notice (DSMA-Notice), but it is only a matter of time before mainstream outlets will start commenting on it. In this pessimistic exchange, Julian admits that the kidnapper's unprecedented use of technology means they don't know what to do.
“Rule sheet specifies a single hand-held camera in a constant roving motion.”
“Gonzo style. He knows his shit. That’s tough.”
Unbeknownst to Callow, Home Secretary Alex Cairns orders Special Agent Callett to explore the contingency plan of faking footage of Callow having sex with a pig. When Callett arrives at the TV studio, a producer introduces Callett to Noel, an award-winning special effects coordinator. While walking, Callett and Noel discuss the kidnapper’s specifications, which have been engineered to make it difficult to fake the footage. In this exchange, Noel questions whether it is possible to manipulate footage using chromakey (green screen image replacement) when the camera must be in constant motion as opposed to resting stationary on a tripod.
“Everyone’s laughing at us. ... I know people. We love humiliation. We can’t not laugh.”
As the ransom video spreads online, Callow's wife, Jane, reads YouTube comments that disparage the prime minister. When she goes to her husband, Jane expresses frustration and sorrow over the fact the public are already making fun of them, even though Callow has yet to fulfill the kidnapper's demand. Touching on the episode's major theme of humiliation, Jane references the voyeuristic human craving to see other people humiliated.
“The public anticipates non-compliance. If he kills her, there’s no blood on your hands. Bottom line.”
As the day goes on, Downing Street staffer Tom Blice pays close attention to public opinion polls about the scandal. In this quote, Tom quietly confides to Callow that the public is sympathetic toward him, with all outrage directed at the kidnapper, not him. The implication is that Callow's political career won't be too badly harmed if he doesn't go through with the bestiality. Relieved, Callow pats Tom's arm and throws away his cigarette, overconfident that he will come out of the situation unscathed, even if the princess dies. The passage is significant because it reveals that Callow and Tom are willing to let Susannah die, but only if it means Callow isn't held responsible.
I GAVE YOU RULES.
I SAID NO CHEATING.
ROD SENSELESS?
PLEASE.
When a man posts a photo to Twitter of porn star Rod Senseless being pushed by special agents into a TV studio, people online put the pieces together and realize the UK government is trying to fake footage for the broadcast. The kidnapper responds to the development by sending a severed finger and a USB drive to the UKN newsroom. The video on the drive begins with this text before showing the princess struggling while the kidnapper ostensibly removes her finger. The development is significant because it shifts public sentiment, making the majority of people realize how serious the kidnapper is. Because of this, the prime minister is pressured into fulfilling the kidnapper's demand.
“I love my wife. May God forgive me.”
Upon walking onto the closed set, where a sedated pig eats from a dish of food, the prime minister tears up and says he hopes this act will ensure the safe return of the princess. Addressing the camera, he adds that he loves his wife. The concise and heartfelt statement prompts spectators to say, "Aww," feeling sympathy for Callow even as they tune in for his humiliation.
“So it’s a statement. That’s what this is all about. About making a point.”
Just after the broadcast finishes, the home secretary receives a call from a staffer who informs her that not only has the princess been found, there is CCTV footage showing she was released thirty minutes before the broadcast started. The staffer says he guesses the kidnapper knew everyone would be preoccupied around TVs. With this news, Cairns learns that the broadcast could have been averted if everyone wasn't drawn to watching it. In this quote, it dawns on the home secretary that the kidnapper wasn't motivated by extremist religious or political ideology; rather, he was making a statement about humanity's cruel desire to see other people be humiliated.
