Patriarchy
Most of the stories center around women who have been made a victim of patriarchy in some way or other, irrespective of the environment they have grown in or currently inhabit. Arranged marriages and patriarchy have a close relation. When women are treated as goods to be inspected, selected or rejected on the basis of looks, are meant to be care-takers or vessels to produce children; there is little importance given to women as people of intellect or opinion. Arranged marriages create a sharp difference between the two sexes where one is expected to bow to another as the marriage is based more on an arrangement than love. Sharp gender roles are defined which can't be removed easily. This leads to dissatisfaction on many levels among the sex that has been treated unfairly. The women of the stories struggle with the ideas the society imposes on them with little consideration for their thoughts.
Clash of Cultures
All the stories have characters with Bengali roots which is portrayed as a strict and conservative culture. Any resistance to the conservative ideas is considered a western encroachment on Indian ideas. Men working in US want to have submissive wives who would listen to them and not dare to have their own thoughts. As mentioned in The Affair, For in spite of their Bill Blass suits and alligator-skin shoes and the sleek Benzes that waited obediently for them in the parking lot, they still belonged to the village of their fathers. The characters, primarily the ones who thrive in patriarchy feel threatened by the idea of liberated wives who could think, or are independent or even drive themselves. The clash of cultures also threaten the model of the ideal girl in the conservative Bengali society, which has a lot of people worried about the image of their daughters and shame the westernizing of her attitudes would bring to the family.
Identity
A lot of women grapple with idea of identity. As the women in the stories are conditioned to believe that they are meant to be a part of someone rather than an entity in themselves, this creates an identity crisis that they deal with in the climatic moments of the stories. In the story The Ultrasound, Anju wonders if her husband’s love is more for her as mother of his child or for her as an individual. She is worried if she has become a mere vessel for child-bearing for her husband. The husbands in the stories are surprised and even shocked, with the idea of the wives demanding space. A prostitute is labeled as a prostitute with no chance of rehabilitation for herself. A daughter becomes a token of family’s modesty. Her failure to keep her ‘morals’ leads to humiliation of the whole family. The book questions these ideas and brings the identity crisis faced by the women to light.
Repressed sexuality
The women, mostly married into an arrangement, seem to struggle with their sexuality. They have been conditioned to consider their husband’s needs as primary and any other idea which might not involve their husbands or be for their own pleasure as immoral and derogatory. Sex is considered to be act meant either for husband’s pleasure or for procreation. The women treat sex with their husbands, even if it’s painful or unconsented, as duty. Women who even dress or talk provocatively are considered promiscuous. This leads to a presumption on the male part of patriarchy that a wife can’t have desires or refuse his desires. Marital rape is a central part of the story, The Disappearance. The wife pulls elaborate measures to avoid sex with her husband, but is unable to say no. She can’t even fight him back. The husband has a great time understanding how bad it could be if she left him.
Maternity
Motherhood is described as an essential part of getting married and, most of the times, the maternal love is overshadowed by the need of society’s approval. Mothers rear their daughters to be dutiful while raising their sons to be confident and sure of their place in the society. Women if considered promiscuous are considered to bring shame to their families and are subsequently disowned. Letting go of one’s child seems like a little price to pay when one’s honor is concerned. This is however limited to the older generation. The women of younger generation struggle with motherhood but only when their own identities are concerned. They are either afraid of getting back with their careers or losing their individuality. Meera from A Perfect Life avoids motherhood as she has had a brush with the emotion and has realized how difficult it can be to bear the feeling of losing a child. She finds motherhood more about pain than love.
