Besides, wasn't it every woman' destiny, as Mother was always telling me, to leave the known for the unknown.
Sumita, a young girl, is about to be married to a boy she had seen only once. The boy lives with his parents in California. She has little idea about the boy, his work or his nature. Yet, her family are hard-pressed for this match. She wants the same. Her friends have been rejected before. Rejection due to complexion or lack of household proficiency is unfavorable. Arranged marriages work like this. The girl is hardly asked and is expected to follow whatever her parents deem fit. This particular sentiment has taken strong hold in Sumita's mind and she believes it her destiny to follow her parents' wish of marrying the guy even she doesn't knows anything about him.
"It was never me, was it? Never love. It was always you and her, her and you."
The partner of the unnamed narrator says these words when he is unable to treat the hurt the narrator suffers when her mother disowns her. The narrator is surprised and, possibly jealous, at the narrator's intense dependence on her mother for approval. The narrator is from a culture where girls disowned for 'bringing shame' to the family for their promiscuous nature. Her mother, in addition, has been too strict and foreboding, installing an acute dependence and fear of the mother on the narrator. The boyfriend wants to have her own identity and space, but he too seems to be yearning for her dependence on him. He is disappointed at last that he was never present in her life as her mother was, that her relationship with her mother is stronger than her love for him.
Men don't do these things to women they respect.
Manisha's aunt observes this when she finds that Deepa's boyfriend is not interested in marrying her, in spite of them having a sexual relationship. As per her conservative Bengali upbringing, any form of sexual relationship before marriage translates to promiscuity on woman's part. Thus, a man respecting a woman enough to consider her worthy enough to be his wife won't involve her in any promiscuous activities, even when both of them are consenting adults.
He was always careful not to hurt her, he prided himself on that.
The narrator forces his wife in sex regularly. She, being from a conservative family, considers it her duty to satisfy his demands and not to say no. So, to avoid the acts she devises elaborate plans. The narrator, even though he can understand the guise, cannot comprehend that his wife is not consenting, since in his society a woman is not supposed to have the concept of consent when her husband is concerned. He forces her, and when she doesn't says no, believes that she is willing and is being shy as she is supposed to be. Yet, he avoids hitting her as he likes to think he is a considerate husband. It never occurs to him that sex could be painful or not enjoyable for her. He prides himself on the fact that unlike the other men of his society, he doesn't hits his wife, but ironically is completely unaware of the hurt he causes her nonetheless.
Years later, when he was an old man living in a home for seniors he would continue to be dazzled by the brief unguarded joy in her face, would say to himself, again, how much she must have hated me to choose to give that up.
This quote is a reflection on the state of mind of the narrator that would stay with him till his death. He keeps on wondering why his wife left him. He has no reason to believe that she was cheating on him and it's more incredible to him that she left him of her own accord and on her own, with no help from anyone. He keeps remembering her composure and quietness around everyone, including himself as if she could trust no one around herself to show her true self. It's only with her son that she can be herself and be unguarded. The narrator keeps remembering that, and wonders if her hate for him was to such extent that it could dwarf her love for her son.
And, when the door finally clicked shut, she did not know whether it was in the guest room or deep inside her own being.
Preeti and Deepak are in a seemingly perfect marriage till their relationship is disrupted by the arrival of Raj who has no respect for their privacy. Preeti likes to keep doors closed and her behavior borders on obsession. When she finally breaks down in front of Raj leading to his subsequent dismissal from the house, she has a fight with her husband Deepak which leads her to question her faith in their marriage and in Deepak's attitude. They both sleep apart that night with him in the guest room. As he closes the doors of that room, a first in many days, either due to a realization that his wife is not what he expected her to be or realization for the need of space in an individual's life. When Preeti listens to this sound, she feels disbelief as Deepak did not like the doors closed, and so feels that it must be the sound of doors closing within her, a metaphor, for she no longer feels the affection she had for Deepak when she married him.
Our husbands are kind and dependable and take good care of us. In the Indian culture, that is same as love.
Anju and Runu are married to different men in different countries. Both of them have been married in the traditional arranged marriage. In an arranged marriage, women are taken for granted to be loving towards their husbands while disdain from their husbands in not uncommon or even acceptable if he believes his wife to be not satisfying his demands. In a culture, where women are looked upon as goods for trade, the two women are happy to have husbands that are kind, dependable and caring. Love is not as important as one can't expect a man to love his wife just for the marriage. So, if the husband is caring towards his wife, love can be excused if it's not present in the marriage.
I hadn't loved Ashok all these years, not really, though I believed I had. I'd been too busy being a good wife.
Abha has devoted herself to her marriage with Ashok. It's another matter that their marriage has started to disintegrate. As in the Indian culture, an arranged marriage works more on one's devotion to one's duties than love. Abha realizes that she was never in love with Ashok, though she believes she has since it was her duty to love her husband, just because he is her husband and not because of him as an individual. She never realizes this as she keeps following her duties as a good wife. Confessions of an affair from her friend Meena make her realize that she had been a good wife to Ashok but was never in love with him.
What would I live on, now that I knew perfection was only a mirage?
Asha, a divorcee, has been devoted to her marriage. She seemingly had a perfect marriage. After her divorce, her world has shattered. She, though she doesn't realize it, has worked more on making her marriage seem perfect than enjoying it. She sends only those pictures of her family to Mrinal which conveys their perfection. Even after her divorce, she has trouble breaking it to her friend for the fear of her judgment as she led her friend to believe that she was living a perfect life. Confessions from Mrinalini, whom she believes is living the perfect life, bring to her realization that perfection can't be achieved. It is always perfect on the surface while not in depth.
