An Academic Affair Anthony Haddad

Oh, you naughty girl you! NO, I can't spend the night, I have so much work to do. I'm sorry...look...I promise I'll make it up to you on the weekend. I won't even go see my friends on Friday. Yeah, I promise. Sure, of course I think about you...I think about you all the ti-what!?! Now you think I'm cheating on you? Listen, don't make this any bigger than it already is. I said I got some important stuff to do, and I'll see you later!

I just had a talk with her. Didn't go too well...Well what more does she want from me? Three hours a night isn't good enough? But wait! Allow me to clarify things! This is not some petty teenage love quarrel, but a gruesome, drawn out war I have engaged in for much of my life. The "significant other" I argued with above is not a girlfriend, but uniquely, a void filled in my life by....a BED: that's right! A bed! I'm unfaithful to sleep! I cheat on sleep like an adulterous husband, like a tango dancer that has had one too many partners! I "sleep around": just about anywhere- in the car, on the lunch table, in history class-I'm high on life while simultaneously, nearly every individual component within my environment has a near...