Zami: A New Spelling of My Name

Zami: A New Spelling of My Name Themes

Sexuality

Lorde does not agonize over her sexuality; she does not feel bad about it, does not regret it. She may not know how to find the words to express what she wants right away, but her love of women is clear from her earliest days. She centers women in her life, whether her mother, friends, or lovers, learning from each one a little bit more about who she is. She also makes sure to account for the difficulties of being a lesbian in the 1950s, even in the liberal bastion of New York, saying frankly that community was sometimes hard to come by. This is why Zami is more than one woman's story—it is a crucial coming-out tale, a letter to young lesbians everywhere that someone understands them, and that someone survived and can tell her tale.

Racism

Though Lorde's parents preferred not to confront American racism or let their children be affected by it, it nonetheless featured prominently in the girls' lives even if they couldn't always recognize it for what it was. It would take the crucial discriminatory moment in Washington, D.C. for Lorde to put together the other pieces of people spitting at them on the street and cruel schoolchildren's comments. Lorde then grew up noting her marginalized status when it came to employment and public acceptance, marveling at how freeing being in Mexico with so many other brown faces felt, and how lonely the Village lesbian scene was for a Black lesbian. Lorde explains how being Black was not something that the gay-girl scene, as she called it, wished to acknowledge; this led to a feeling of fragmentary identity.

Woman Power

Lorde makes many references to the source of her power being other powerful women, and this book honors all of those who have influenced her. The bulk of them seem to be lovers from whom she learned much but the main woman in her life is her mother, whom she reveres. Their relationship is tricky and awkward sometimes; her mother is a strict disciplinarian with zero tolerance for insolence of any kind. Lorde consequently feels unloved and harshly treated as a child. She even loses touch with her family, including her mother, when she first leaves home. However, she and her mother are very connected to each other and Lorde credits her with passing inner strength and power through the generations; it is telling that Kitty/Afrekete has a lot in common with her mother.

Silence and Speech

Lorde is a quiet child, coming to speaking and reading late. She also spends a lot of her adult life in silence, whether it's navigating the city alone, working silently at her job, communicating with Muriel in unfinished sentences, or remaining reticent in social situations. However, Lorde does know the power of speech and when to wield it. She writes throughout her life, and her writing is her speech. And at the end of the work she states that she has "renamed" herself, a powerful harnessing of language to demonstrate her sense of self.

Many Selves

Lorde is not just one thing—she is not just a lesbian, or just Black, or just a woman, or just a writer. She is all of these things and more, and they complement each other. She does not agonize over one more than another; she admits frankly when something is hard, but never questions her identities. All her lovers support her writing; her Black lovers provide understanding; most of the women in her life share with her significant moments, such as first periods, the abortion, break-ups, and more. She is not fractured or disunited; rather, she is many things, all existing together harmoniously.

Home

Lorde is constantly in search of home. As a child she thought of Carricou as home and New York as a temporary way-station. As she grew older she came to see her actual home with her family in Washington Heights as not a home, preferring school and the company of other friends. Later she would see her major lovers as home, such as Ginger, Eudora, Muriel, and Kitty/Afrekete. For a time she felt Mexico was, and could be, home. It is not until the relationship with Kitty/Afrekete that she comes to terms with the fact that home does not have to be a physical place—though New York is more home than she previously thought—home is knowing who you are, and for Lorde, that is Zami, women who love and work with other women.

Creativity

Lorde was fascinated by the written word from the moment the librarian read her a story. She realized through her sister Helen, one of the people to whom the work is dedicated, that she could write things that were untrue and not get in trouble. Her love of the written word extended into her youth and young adulthood, as she took opportunities to write poetry, attend gatherings of other writers, and see language as a way to express herself. Though she was not a full-time writer in the era of Zami, needing to finish college and make money, the creative impulse was ever-present, infusing her day-to-day existence and providing a way to understand her world and herself. Her creativity was also intertwined with sex, taking on an erotic cast when in the presence of or about her lovers, all of whom encouraged her fecundity.

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