“But looking closer, I see that Afghanistan never vanished; it remained a shimmering thread in the embroidery always. All through the late nineties, I was working on a novel about Afghanistan. Before that, come to think of it, I published a children’s book about Afghanistan. Oh, and before that, I made friends with macho journalists and adventurers who traveled with the mujahideen and wrote books about their exploits. I scoured their pictures, devoured their stories. And I renewed my friendship with my cousin Mazar. I danced at his wedding. I wept over his death.”
Ansary was engrossed with his life in America for 14 years to the extent that he was no longer conscious of the things that were happening in Afghanistan. Nevertheless, deep down he still remembered Afghanistan. His confession is vital in demonstrating a person’s roots cannot be changed easily. Even though he was physically in America, he still remembered Afghanistan it was his homeland. Writing about Afghanistan gave him the opportunity to connect with his country even though he was no longer physically there. Staying in America did not mean that he stopped being an Afghan. His Afghanistan roots were still evident in his life, and nothing would change that.
“When Afghans first started moving to the United States in significant numbers, they came clothed in the raiment of the customs. They married their own, and cousins competed to out-host one another. They tried to hold on to everything because they thought they were going back. But the customs softened over time. People had to fit into the clockwork schedules of America, and eventually, they did. The grandmothers settled. A few people even married out of the clan. A few, a very few, even married Americans.”
Here, Ansary explores the implications of assimilation on the Afghan immigrants in America. The Afghans that moved to America were forced to adapt to the American culture. Eventually, they were assimilated into the way of life in Americans; thus they could no longer live according to their customs. Intermarriages with the Americans changed the Afghans that settled in America because they have to adopt the marriages that are conducted in America. The assimilated Afghans no longer saw the significance of marrying within their clans because their customs were weakened through intermarriages and assimilations. Ansary demonstrates that change is inevitable for many Afghans once they immigrate to America.
“After I came back from the Islamic world, I fell in with a bunch of Afghans in Berkeley. I had met them shortly after moving to San Francisco, but I hadn't hung out with them much because I'd felt sort of awkward among them; I'd felt I didn't know all the secret handshakes of Afghan culture anymore. They shared references to times and places I had left behind. Often, I didn't get their jokes. My Farsi wasn't that good.”
Even though Ansary had an Islamic background, he did not feel comfortable among the other Muslim that he met in Berkeley. He had a limited understanding of the communication methods used among the Afghan such as the handshakes and jokes. It means that he slowly forgot the Afghan culture hence he was leaning more on the American culture. Furthermore, he would not communicate in Farsi eloquently; it was difficult for him to identify with the Afghan culture because he did not practice in his life. He was losing his Afghan side slowly. For a person to practice a culture, he or she should understand the language, beliefs, and symbols that are used in that culture; Ansari lost his understanding of these crucial components of the Afghan culture.
“Or perhaps the atheist’s problem is more practical. Maybe everyone needs time to formulate emotions appropriate to the sudden news of death, but this is where organized religion takes over, for most people. The social apparatus swings into action, and you go through the motions, behind which, your feelings have time to mature. But we had no church, my mother and I, so my father’s death left us swinging in our secular breeze.”
Ansary compares himself to an atheist because he did not feel any emotions after hearing about his father's death. In some way, he disconnected with his father after he returned to Kabul due to the long distance between them. They did not make bond sufficiently; thus, Ansary was not affected immensely after the death of his father. Instead of feeling sad, Ansary felt guilty for due to the lack of emotions towards his father's death. Ansary confirms that he no longer believed in the religious teachings because he refers to himself as an atheist that was not a member of any religion. It is so unfortunate that Ansary lost emotional connection with his father and this implies that he was slowly drifting away from his roots.
“Growing up bicultural is like straddling a crack in the earth. If the cultures are far apart—like those of Afghanistan and America—one feels an urge to get entirely over to one side or the other. My siblings and I grew up with such divided souls, and we responded in different ways.”
Ansary summarizes the challenges that the bicultural people go through. Being bicultural is similar to crack because one is forced to choose between the two distinct cultures systems; the crack develops because of the pressure that comes with meeting the requirements of the two different cultures. Ansary’s assertion implies that it is not easy for one to meet the requirements of two distinct cultures at a go. The two cultures are similar to opposing forces that pulled Ansary, and his siblings took different directions, and as a result, they ended up with souls that were divided. The response to the bicultural upbringing differs from one person to another that is why Ansary and his siblings reacted differently to the challenges that they encountered in their bicultural upbringing.
