Female empowerment
The fact that this novel ends with a feminist epiphany is ironic, because the first half of the novel reads very misogynistically. It's like a bait and switch where readers who come for the domination of women are forced to see the second, surprising half of the novel when the man's desire for power reverts to a desire for powerlessness and degradation. In the end, he heralds women's rights and says that ultimately, what is wrong with him is that he exists in a society that desperately needs feminism.
Sexual submissiveness
The novel is packed full of sexual domination and submission. Although that theme is ironic on its own, the most ironic part is that instead of staying in a role as a character trait, the characters switch roles halfway through.
The plot twist
By the end of the novel, Wanda leaves Severin for another man whom she likes better, essentially cuckolding him. This is the ultimate fulfillment of their game, because she wins the domination games by rejecting Severin and choosing another man in his place. She shows that although men are physically stronger, they are mentally subject to a woman's powers to make someone jealous. In other words, the betrayal might not be a betrayal of their game but a fulfillment of it. In any case, she pushes Severin into a religious experience of jealousy where he realizes what it is that drives him to compete for power in his relationships.
The absence of intimacy
By the time Wanda accepts Severin's invitation into sex games, the reader should be perfectly aware of an unusual aspect of their relationship. Although each person seems to be driven by a need for intimacy and affection, those are surprisingly absent from their relationship. This irony shows that there are emotional issues in the relationship that each person is working out metaphorically by using the other person. By the end of the novel, this question is the only question left on the table, and Severin answers it with feminism. The reason he is scared of intimacy has to do with the way he was taught to treat women.
The irony of confidence and self-esteem
In other ways, power is played with in this novel. For instance, the dominating man quickly reveals his deep, nearly-Oepidal attachment to powerlessness and humiliation. The woman is the powerful one in that part of the relationship, but actually, this part of the story reveals that Severin is attempting to control other people in order to feel powerful, because he has serious self-esteem issues. The truth is that Severin needs to control others or else he feels worthless and humiliated. This is most ironic because in the end, that's exactly the dilemma that Wanda doesn't really find attractive, so he gets left for another man. The fear of rejection caused him to experience rejection.
