“But upon what are the Satires against Marriage grounded? Not upon the State it self, if they are just, but upon the ill Choice, or foolish Conduct of those who are in it? and what has Marriage consider’d in it self to do with these? When the Blame is laid where it ought to be, not Marriage, but inordinate Passion, Rashness, Humour, Pride, Covetousness, Inconstancy, unjust Suspicions, unnecessary Severity, and, in a Word, a silly, vicious, imprudent Choice, or Conduct, ought to be arraign’d. For why should Marriage be exclaim’d against when Men reap the Fruit of their own Folly? If they will put an unequal Yoke upon their own Necks, they have their Choice, who can they blame for it? If instead of a Help and Comfort, their Courtship has procured them a Plague and Disgrace, who may they thank but themselves: A Man can never be under any sort of Obligation to marry against his Liking, but through some reigning Vice, or want of Fortitude.”
Couples are the strategic factors in the realization of their matrimony; hence, it would be ironic for them to transfer accountability to third parties such as the state. The blame for the catastrophe of marriage should be ascribed to vices such as adultery, negligence, egocentricity, erroneous resolutions and indiscretion. To warranty a fruitful matrimonial, focus should be on dynamics that will eradicate the scandalous engagements. Marrying is an enormous accountability which should not be undervalued by any party that is intent on it.
“Could there be no happy Marriages, Arguments against Matrimony might have their Weight with the Reasonable as well as the Licentious. But since the Laws of God and Man, founded upon Reason and Experience, forbid a Temporary Contract, and engage the married Pair for Life, it is not only possible, but highly probable, and not without many eminent Instances, that there are and may be, happy Marriages; provided we act reasonably in our Choice and Conduct, acquit our selves like wise Men and Christians. So that all we have to say against Matrimony, seems only to shew the Levity, or Impiety of our own Minds: It is no more than a Flourish of Wit, and how prettily soever we may talk, it is but little to the Purpose.”
The prospect of being blissful in matrimony is an exclusive need. When God instituted marriage, he did not design it to be a short-term treaty between the couples. Divorces are displays of how marriages have been transformed into short-term treaties due the deficiency of pleasure. Religious philosophy influences the mentalities of couples regarding matrimony; Christianity sanctions explicit cheerfulness among the couples.
“But suppose a Man does not marry for Money, though for one that does not, perhaps there are thousands that do; suppose he marries for Love, an Heroick Action, which makes a mighty Noise in the World, partly because of its Rarity, and partly in regard of its Extravagancy, what does his marrying for Love amount to? There’s no great Odds between his marrying for the Love of Money, or for the Love of Beauty; the Man does not act according to Reason in either Case, but is govern’d by irregular Appetites. But he loves her Wit perhaps, and this, you’ll say, is more Spiritual, more Refin’d: Not at all, if you examine it to the Bottom.”
Incentives for wedding fluctuate among men; thus, they are idiosyncratic. Seeing money as the leading catalyst for marrying is synonymous to making a commodity of marriage. Authentic marriage should be based on unreserved affection for it to flourish. A marriage that is ascribed a woman’s attractiveness is artificial and its warranty of enduring is based on the durability of the beauty; once the beauty starts vanishing, the forte of the marriage would be endangered. Apposite reasoning is imperative before wedding because it would guarantee that the man would not make an erroneous resolution that would terminate in a calamitous marriage.
