For Children
A book for kids cannot get too terribly heavy or creative with the metaphorical language. Kids are smart, sure, but metaphor can be difficult for many. The best similes in this case are therefore usually the simplest which in this case means easily understood while painting a clear picture in the mind:
“David stands with his sneaker shoes on the top step, like it’s a diving board and he’s choosing whether to jump.”
Things Kids Do
It also is always helpful to use imagery that reflects the reality of the world in which kids live. Recreating the natural environment of kids at play in their natural habitat can really bring the metaphor home and make the scene relatable:
“I call, reaching the corner of the fence. David flickers his fingers up and down, like he’s playing piano in the air.”
What Antiques?
Do kids know what antiques are anymore? It used to be one found out the hard way: by getting dragged along on an antique shopping trek that seemed to take up half the weekend. With parents buying their antiques online, how many kids even know what an antique store looks like? That’s where the power of the simile’s comparison comes in very handy:
“From the sidewalk it seems only a door, tucked between two downtown shops, but behind the door and up a musty-smelling staircase is a sign: ELLIOT’S ANTIQUES. The whole store is like an attic, full of stuff someone grandparents once owned but had no more use for.”
Dramatic Pause
How to convey a dramatic pause in which time to seems to stop for just a second or two? Through the miracle of metaphor, that’s how. Do it well enough and the imagery is so precise it is hard not to visualize it. Here is how to do it well when writing for a younger audience, simple and specific:
“Mrs. Frost drops her magazine and even the receptionist has stopped typing, her hands held above her keyboard like a conductor waiting to cue a symphony.”
Extending the Metaphor
When the mojo is working and the metaphor creates a solid visual image that forms in the mind before the reader even realizes it, the next step is to extend it beyond that first image. The gold standard is achieved when that extension winds with Barbie dolls in the realm of water royalty. The kids, they love the water-based aristocracy:
“Barbie’s pink-lipstick smile beams through the water, her long hair floating around her like a tangle of white-blond kelp. The goldfish nibble at it, and Barbie, Queen of the Fishes, waves cheerfully.”
