The irony of prejudice
There is an ironic prejudice against Far, sometimes from ethnic Europeans who reject her as Asian, and sometimes from ethnic Asians who reject her as too European. Ironically, she ends up without a community to cling to, and the irony of her mistreatment is even more blatant because it started when she was very young. There is simply no merit in judging someone the way others tend to judge her, and her experience shows that prejudice is plainly foolish.
The inexpressible self
The irony of self is well documented in this memoir. In some senses the memoir isn't as much a communication of self as it is a communication about the writer's experience of self, understanding that most of what she would want the reader to know about her is inexpressible. She can tell her history, hoping for empathetic ears, but there is simply no language to describe the strangeness of her point of view. She is like a martyr for her own life.
The irony of independence
Independence is a difficult privilege to earn, but Far earns it by suffering. Since others don't understand her, and since others tend to treat her as an outsider, she is powerful and independent. The ironic cost of her power was suffering, loneliness, and frustration, that while she was enduring it, seemed completely unnecessary and meaningless. Her independence helps her to accomplish her goals in life, and she becomes a journalist and writer.
Objectivity and cultural opinion
Far wanted to live in community in a deeper way, but ironically, she benefitted from her isolation in one regard at least. She is prone to be objective, having no stake in the broader cultural narratives of her European or Asian communities. Also, having two ethnic identities instead of one helps her to see things from multiple points of view. This makes her a good judge of character.
America the ironic melting pot
Although America is often discussed for its welcoming of immigrants and refugees, Far's experience of America is the ironic opposite. Even though literally every people group except the Native Americans come from immigrants (because it was an undiscovered nation for most of European history), America is highly judgmental toward foreigners, especially in places where immigrants are more likely to come, like the two Far mentions, New York City and San Francisco. Both have welcoming people, but both also have very prejudiced, xenophobic folks who are dangerous.
