"Every evening before he left for work he required attention. He thrived on procession and ritual."
Sinclair describes their father's need for a specific routine before he leaves for work each evening. This ritual is a carefully choreographed process involving various tasks including having his clothes ironed, dreadlocks washed and oiled, and being served fruit or tea. The repetition and structure of this ritual reflect the father's desire for control and order within his household. It also underscores the power dynamics and the strict patriarchal atmosphere within the family. The father's preferences hold great influence and are adhered to by the rest of the family. The phrase suggests that the father finds a sense of empowerment in this ordered routine. Thus, it symbolizes the rigid beliefs within the family rooted in the Rastafarian culture.
"Perhaps it was true what my father said. That I lacked discipline, the way any nine-year-old lacks discipline—I didn’t always listen, I was skeptical. I doubted his gospel."
The author addresses the expectations imposed by her father regarding what it means to be the "perfect daughter" within their Rastafari community. Her father envisions an obedient daughter who embodies the traditional and patriarchal ideals upheld by their religious beliefs. This vision sharply contrasts with Safiya's emerging individuality and curiosity. Regardless, she still struggles with the pressure to conform to her father's expectations. She acknowledges her skepticism indicating the growing awareness of her desires that diverge from her father's teachings. The mention of being nine years old highlights the typical explorative nature of a child at that stage of development. She is in the process of forming her identity. It sets the stage for her eventual rebellion towards embracing her true self by going against her father's wishes.
"There was freedom in knowing something for yourself. Just as I had come to learn by leaving the underworld on my own. There was nothing else like it. The sweet realization of a whole wide-eyed world, glowing and boundless, just waiting to be discovered, lighting the path to all of what was possible."
Sinclair highlights the sense of newfound freedom and self-discovery for herself and her mother. Her mother has been living within the confines of their Rastafari community under the influence of her husband. Now, she has ventured outside this world and her daughter can sense the exhilaration of this new perspective. Sinclair likens her experience of stepping outside her father's firm beliefs to leaving the "underworld." The passage emphasizes the power of independent exploration. It captures the wonder of stepping beyond one's comfort zone and experiencing the world. It is a moment of realization for these women that there is so much more to life beyond the limitations imposed by their previous circumstances.
