Self-Worth
Throughout this book, Laymon's primary dilemma appears to be self-worth. He encounters this problem most dramatically in college, but the symptoms had begun accruing for years beforehand. Faced with his mother's direct rebellion against her community's expectations of her as a black woman and with the continued rejection of his family by peers, Laymon must embrace ambiguity and awkwardness at a young age. His role models are scarce and obviously insufficient because -- at least in his mother's case -- they promise their motivation is for a certain outcome which they actually realize by their methods. His mom desires to spare Laymon the oppressive racial violence of society toward black men, but she actually secures Laymon's stereotype among peers by forcing him to comply with patterns of behavior far outside the norm of his community. In college, Laymon addresses these problems when he realizes that his weight is a direct reflection of his self-perception. He hasn't resolved those adolescent dramas yet. He turns to health as a means of securing his own self-worth, proving to himself that he's capable and valuable and desirable. He no longer allows the expectations of others to dictate how he feels about or treats himself.
Alienation
Both among the black members of his community in Jackson and among the predominantly white population of his college, Laymon feels a profound sense of alienation. Thanks to his mom's insistence on proper grammar and high grades, Laymon stands out among his peers in school. He's a smart kid, but he's bullied for these same manners. At university, he once again receives the cold shoulder from his peers, but this time it's more obvious why he doesn't fit. Laymon feels like his ethnicity demands the attention of all his white peers and colleagues because they automatically assume he will express inferior ideas and demonstrate inferior work. He places these expectations upon himself, manifesting in a self-worth dilemma. Because he has never fit in among his communities, Laymon is tempted to reject himself as well.
Betrayal
Laymon expresses a profound sense of betrayal in his political and social discourse in the memoir. He understands that his upbringing was exceptional and that his mother tried very hard to provide him with privileges which his peers didn't receive, but all the same he feels betrayed by his mother. Her best efforts to protect him from racial discrimination are the reasons he was bullied and abused. Sometimes his mother, herself, was the inflictor of the abuse, in a vain attempt to teach him a better way. In adulthood this childhood betrayal matures into a defiance. Laymon deliberately works vernacular back into his vocabulary and defines himself through his ethnic heritage, instead of ignoring it as his mother would have wanted. Even in this redefinition, he encounters more betrayal. By writing from his beliefs, Laymon is attacked by members of his academic community in college. He writes about the real life effects of racial prejudice in America, especially in the South, but people are not interested in or pleased with his opinions.
