"Is Esi too an African woman? She not only is, but there are plenty of them around these days....these days, these days"
Oko does not like the new, modern women of Africa and does not know whether Esi, with all of her accomplishments, and her focus on her career, would even be considered an African woman in the traditional sense of the phrase. However, he knows that not only is Esi one of the new guard of African women, he also knows she is not the only one whose priorities lie more outside of the home than within it. He also seems to miss the days when women were barefoot and pregnant and relegated to the kitchen; he knows he certainly would have felt better, and less emasculated, if his ego had not been dented by the success of his wife. Pondering the nature of the modern woman in general and his wife in particular is the catalyst for his attempting to rape Esi, trying to assert both himself, and also his notion of the traditional wife as a possession belonging to her husband.
"From the inner room, Esi heard them and pain filled her chest. She could never be as close to her mother as her mother was to her grandmother. Never, never, never. And she knew why."
Esi overhears her mother and grandmother talking about her and their language and way of speaking shows how similar they are in thought as people. They have the type of bond that enables one to finish a sentence that the other has started, and both talk in the same kind of way. Because Esi is more educated there is a barrier between her mother and grandmother, and herself. She believes that being educated has also cost her a close relationship with her mother.
There is also a gulf between Esi and her mother when it comes to her cultural beliefs and their belief in the old traditions. As Africa modernizes, the younger generation as a whole loses touch with certain parts of its history, and Esi is an example on an individual scale of how this begins to happen. Neither the younger or the older generations truly understand each other and within this, there may also be a degree of envy, because the generation of older women who were forced to accept society's roles for them are envious of the younger generation who are more free to decide for themselves what they want.
"Ali phoned regularly to announce his imminent departures"
Ali always calls Esi just before he is about to leave one country or another. After the honeymoon is both physically and metaphorically over for the couple, they beginning to see less and less of each other and in the end their relationship is conducted predominantly over the telephone. Ali is very adept at portraying the image of the devoted husband always thinking about his wife, with these telephone calls, but in fact he is the opposite. By calling her when he is just about to leave, the conversation has to be kept to a finite time, and his imminent departure also states, without every actually stating it, that he does not have time to come and see her.
The two always have positive telephone conversations which also explains why they remain very close friends even after the marriage is over. Their telephone talks are more like the long and deep talks that one has with a friend rather than the romantic conversations between lovers who cannot wait to see each other.
