“Anyone who has lived through it, or those who are now living through it, knows that caring about an addict is as complex and fraught and debilitating as addiction itself.”
From the perspective of a father to a drug addict, the book highlights intense and troubling moments of the son’s addiction. Rather than focus on an addict’s mindset it essentially showcases the experience of the family, in this case, the father. David narrates his journey trying to figure out Nic’s drug problem through all the recoveries and relapses. Furthermore, the guilt he harbors for thinking that he indirectly caused his son’s addiction to methamphetamines. Therefore the quotation encapsulates the experiences of the caregivers that are sometimes as difficult as addiction itself.
“An alcoholic will steal your wallet and lie to you. A drug addict will steal your wallet and then help you look for it.”
David contemplates this statement that Nic once said, derived from a common cliché in Alcohol Anonymous. Essentially, alcoholics and drug abusers tend to resort to lying in order to facilitate their habits when it starts affecting others. In this case, since alcoholism is not as intense as hard drugs the abusers rely on cheap lies to cover for their vices. Whereas drug addicts such as Nic usually give an intricate web of lies that are more foolproof to their sponsors or caregivers. David notices the involvedness of Nic’s lies that entails unnecessary details to cover for previous lies.
“Despite my knowledge that addiction does not respond to logic, I have held on to a vestige of an idea that the trappings of a life—girlfriend, job, money, solid friendships, a desire to do right by those you love—can make it OK, but they don't.”
The one thing Nic’s father learns through his experiences and in Al-Anon meetings is that addiction is a lifelong disease. Even if the individual recovers they are still considered an addict whether they relapse or not, hence the term ‘recovering addict’. Therefore the addict can have the necessary things in their lives to eliminate feelings that trigger their cravings such as loneliness and still relapse. In the statement, Nic’s father hopes that a healthy love life, friendship, and a sense of purpose will ensure permanent recovery. However, he is aware that his sobriety is never guaranteed and all he can bet on is Nic’s hard work towards managing it.
