If I were fierce, and bald, and short of breath,
I'd live with scarlet Majors at the Base,
The very first lines present the poem's scenario: the speaker imagines himself among the ranks of majors—high-ranking military officers—and makes his dislike of this class clear. Majors in the poem represent the British authority figures in World War One who made organizational decisions that affected the lower-rank soldiers. The contrasting descriptions of fierceness, baldness, and shortness of breath are not flattering tone, and suggest sarcasm and disdain. The presentation of these physical indicators in an "If-Then" statement suggests a logic according to which having these qualities makes it probable that one is a major.
You'd see me with my puffy petulant face,
Guzzling and gulping in the best hotel,
These lines further clarify the speaker's dislike for majors. The situation is made comical because the speaker is imagining himself as a major; under the guise of laughing at himself, he criticizes those in power. A face that is puffy and petulant gives the impression of an overindulged adult who throws a tantrum when he doesn't get his way. "Petulant" can be defined as childishly sulky or bad-tempered. This is clearly not a desirable quality in an authority figure, especially one giving orders that could determine if you live or die. The following line shows that the majors engage in gluttonous behavior while the soldiers they command likely consume meager rations, if anything at all. That the Majors stay in the best hotels also evokes the terrible living conditions that soldiers in combat must endure.
And when the war is done and youth stone dead,
I'd toddle safely home and die—in bed.
The final lines of the poem summarize the major's indifference toward the soldiers who died on his orders. For the major, the war can be "done" and he can move on with his life. But for the soldiers, their lives have been totally obliterated. This poem works to evoke images that are not directly outlined by providing exaggerated details about the Major, and implying that the opposite is true for the soldiers and their families. For example, in this line about the major toddling safely home, the reader is reminded that the soldiers can never go home, and that they likely have grieving families who will forever be altered by the war.
