“Compulsory Heterosexuality” is a widely misunderstood term. Adrienne Rich coined the phrase in her 1980 essay, “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence.” Today, people often assume Rich was talking about something experienced only by individual lesbians. For example, someone might argue that, as a lesbian, compulsory heterosexuality was responsible for them dating men and not coming out until adulthood. Although that experience would fall under the umbrella of compulsory heterosexuality, Rich actually argues that all women experience compulsory heterosexuality, regardless of their own sexuality.
For Rich, compulsory heterosexuality is a system that rewards heterosexual relationships and takes everything else off the table. For example, until 1974, women were not allowed to apply for credit cards separately from their husbands. This limited unmarried women's financial freedom. Even today, women are, on average, paid less than men, a trend attributable not only to discrimination within the workplace, but to the fact that professions associated with women are not as well-compensated overall. Women who desire financial security, especially women who do not come from wealthy families, often don’t have the option of staying single. These economic forces are reinforced by social factors. Marriage to a man, and by extension motherhood, are often pushed as the most important things a woman can achieve. This affects straight women too—the options of staying single, of pursuing a polyamorous relationship, of dating casually, or of prioritizing friendships, are all made more difficult through the system of compulsory heterosexuality.
This is important background for a poem like “Aunt Jennifer’s Tigers.” Reading it, it’s easy to get frustrated—why doesn’t Jennifer just take off the ring and walk away? For Rich, though, marriage isn’t a simple choice for women. It’s part of a system that is difficult to opt out of.
