Essay Questions

What are the "fish cheeks" referenced in the title of the essay?

The "fish cheeks" are actually a delicacy in China; literally, the inside of the cheeks on a fish that are considered the most tender of all. They are Amy's favorite part, which is why her father offers them to her at dinner, realizing that she is uncomfortable, and not really enjoying herself. They also came to represent the most mortifying moment of an emotionally traumatic experience for Amy. The entire evening was uncomfortable for her, but the peak of her embarrassment was reached when her father offered her a food she actually enjoys, but that she believes must look like a gastronomic aberration to those who are not native Chinese people.

Why is Amy so embarrassed during the dinner?

Amy is embarrassed because her parents do not appear to be as mannerly and polite as their guests. She believes that this is because they are Chinese, and not American, and she believes that they are uncouth when compared to Robert's parents. Her father belches after the meal and she is mortified, even though he explains that in China, belching after a meal is considered a sign of appreciation for the food. She is also embarrassed because at her home there is only reference to the Chinese culture and heritage, and no reference at all to her American side. She feels more connected to America than to China because she is American, and she wants Robert and his family to see this side of her and not be continually reminded about her ancestry.

What themes does Amy Tan write about in all of her stories and essays?

The predominant theme of Tan's work is the relationship between Asian immigrants and their first generation American children. This can often be a difficult relationship; the parents want to recreate their culture and heritage in their new country, whilst their children want to celebrate the country they know, not the country their ancestors came from. Young women, particularly, find it difficult to accept their mothers' adherence to the largely patriarchal society that exists in Asia, and this becomes a point of contention as well. Tan also writes a great deal about this relationship between mother and daughter; there is difficulty for each in understanding the other, and often immigrant mothers place on their American daughters expectations that were placed on them that are culturally unacceptable to their children. These are interwoven themes that play a considerable role in all of Tan's work.