The novel often focuses attention on how the mothers instruct their daughters and influence their decisions. Focus instead on the daughters: what do they teach their mothers, and how do they affect their mothers' decisions?

Mothers and daughters have a special connection in this book through flesh and spirit. It is as though daughters and mothers share one flesh all their lives, and not just when daughters are in the womb. They take on different roles depending on cultural demands. In China, the mothers are expected to be obedient wives and to never openly challenge authority. In America, the daughters are independent, have the option of divorcing and taking most any job, and come from the baby boomer generation, which often prides itself on challenging authority. When the daughter in the prologue of Queen Mother of the Western Skies looks in the mirror, because she is sitting with one mirror in front of her and one at her back, she sees infinite reflections of her own face. This makes her realize that she is part of one multifaceted spirit that extends forever into past and future generations. While her country of residence, job, marriage, and language may be different from her mother's, they are still connected irrevocably, as will be the case with her own daughter.