What reason does the merchant tell the boy about why he would not go to Mecca now?

The crystal merchant told Santiago that he had never been on a pilgimage because dreaming of going kept him alive..... if he went, he would lose his reason for living.

"Because it's the thought of Mecca that keeps me alive. That's what helps me face these days that are all the same, these mute crystals on the shelves, and lunch and dinner at that same horrible caf? I'm afraid that if my dream is realized, I'll have no reason to go on living.