Before

Why do I wanna go to the united states

For 400 years United States of America became the greatest nation. It¹s leaders know exactly what virtues it¹s children should have, virtue like - not being prejudiced, sincerity, not to tolerate tabooes, to think maturely, to face the problems, to work against all kinds of cankers in it's society no matter if it concerns them directly or not. Infact that's what impresses me most ­ common american cannot stand a gap in it's society code. It¹s like with the African-Americans ­ slavery was going to work agaist the unity in the middle class. That¹s why they were liberated. At first sight americans had no gain in letting the African-Americans be full-righted members of the society they have created, and worse, part of it's governing. They could have been much more stubborn (not that they have been very tolerant) and oppress and deprive from rights the negers for much longer period of time. Instead they were so far-sighted that for only 200 years underwent such a crucial turnover in treir beliefs and let the black people be a full-right members of the american society. For comparison here on the Bolkan peninsula racial intolerance inculcated centuries from now makes a handful of people fight in the name of their own racial superiority(Bosna, Kosovo, Cyprus...). For more than two millenia they could not overcome their differences and tolerate each other's peculiarities.

Another reason for my respect in american philosophy is that it's creators work so hard to elucidate to the common citizen what is right and what are the ideals he should believe in - I mean the american philosophy is to teach the people to fight for the beliefs their country is built on. That's why there's no chance a dictator to subsist, no chance an ideology like communism to exist - the leaders of this nation saw the evil in it made the common american to fear it. The leader understands that if you make the mass to believe in what you believe you become invincible and with you invincible becomes your nation. American society is built in such a way that it can manage to subsist without a leader. The leader only creates laws. It's not him or some governing organization which does the major fight against the communism or the dictatorship - it's the common people who reject the things it thinks are damaging for it's well-being. The average citizen of America believes in laws. If all he was trying was to find a way to go round it he would succeed. That¹s what makes this nation so strong, that's what keeps our world becoming a dictatorship like in the George Orwell's novels.

That is why I want to go to the states - to study and acquire this moral code and teach my children to it no matter what country I live in.

After

Why I Want to Go to the United States

Dear Writer,

There is much that is good here. I have corrected your spelling, grammatical, and usage errors while trying to maintain your same passion for the subject. In keeping your tone and content the same, I have altered your words quite a bit. It is important that you make any changes necessary to ensure that the essay remains more or less in your own voice. Additionally, there were some factual errors, e.g. how long America has existed, how its laws are made, etc., which I have corrected. Ultimately, my greatest concern is that you talk too much about America and not enough about yourself. Of course, to say why you want to come to America you need speak about America. Your primary concern, though, should be to convey your own personality. Your essay should not read, as it sometimes does, like an impersonal pamphlet extolling the virtues of America. It should express your own unique perspective on the world borne from your own unique experiences. What about your life has made this American vision so compelling to you? Is Italy so different? Are people less tolerant? More close-minded? Is the class system more rigid? I think that the best way to address these questions is to offer specific examples from your own life which have led you to desire an American-style political and moral culture. For example, you might have been disturbed by the treatment of immigrants in your city and want to be in a place more accepting of difference. Give details. Compare your own social world to that of America. (In doing this, be sure to describe how you have acquired your knowledge of America). Make your reader feel that your commitment to American values is not just a political abstraction, but the result of real life experiences. Ultimately, the subject of this essay should not be America but you. The admissions committee wants to understand what kind of person you are, to appreciate how and why you think and feel the way you do. Right now, I just don¹t see enough of you in the essay.

Good Luck!

Editor, gradesaver.com

Why do I want to go to the United States?

I want to travel to the United States of America in order to participate in a moral and political culture which champions liberty and justice for all. In just 224 years the United States of America has become the world's greatest nation. Ultimately, the strength of this nation is derived not from its economic or military might but from its unique moral character. American children are taught to accept the differences of others, to believe in themselves, and to work for the common good whether it directly benefits them or not. In fact, what impresses me most about America is its resistance to traditional class stratification and its championing of the right to individual self-advancement. For example, America as a whole had little to gain from abolishing slavery and allowing African-Americans be full citizens. Despite this fact, America went to war with itself in order to free the slaves and unite the country into a more moral republic. In comparison, the Balkan peninsula has for centuries been rocked by ethnic strife grounded on gross intolerance and a mistaken belief in the superiority of one's ethnic group.

Another reason I respect America is that it works hard to make sure every citizen knows and is willing to fight for the political and moral ideals on which the country is founded. This is why it is unlikely that a totalitarian ideology such as communism or fascism will ever dominate America. In America, the stability of the state does not rely on the presence of strong leaders or strong parties but on the perpetuation of its citizens¹ commitment to the democratic system. No one person or party decides what is right for the nation; it is the people alone who must decide. Moreover, America¹s self-confidence and willingness to defend the interests of freedom worldwide helps other nations resist the evils of totalitarian rule. I hope traveling to the United States enables me to learn more about and ultimately promote these moral and political ideals.